Have you ever been to an ATP tournament in person?
Posted by tennisplanet on June 18, 2007
Everyone of them I have attended so far, I have to periodically pinch myself, to constantly reaffirm, that I am not at a senior citizen center, but at a tennis event.
I cannot remember one freaking event, when someone did not faint or whatever and needed medical assistance for heat, dehydration, heart attack, whatfreakingever!!!!
You feel you are the odd one out, with the smell of bengay as the perfume, to numb your senses.
And then this has happened to him at least 80% of the time: The old hag next to me, makes a freaking move on me!!!!!!!!!! With her old man sitting right next to her!!!!!!!!!!! Are you freaking kidding me!!!!!!!!!!
She would start with moving her leg gradually and resting it on mine. First couple of times, I moved my leg away, thinking it was an accident. But I was being followed. I am your freaking grandson’s age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then it would start with the elbow. She would deliberately remove her shirt to make sure she has a skin on skin experience with me. I have to admit, after resisting it for a while, I gave in, and did experience a conflicting and perplexing erection.
Her man has no freaking idea what’s going on, specially with the elbow and forearm sex. Once, she ‘accidentally’ moved her hand on my thigh, when her dude stood up to cheer the point. By now, I am having a full blown, throbbing erection. I haven’t prayed harder for spectacular plays, so the dude would get up and cheer, while I have my own spectacular play.
Hey, tennis and free sex is not a bad combination!!!!!!!!! Why do you think I like tennis so much? I save up all the pennies to buy tickets at every freaking event. I only wish they had private boxes with dim lights for fuller enjoyment.
Now I wear loose thin clothing to enjoy tennis to the fullest. I never miss to take a cap with me for cover, for times, when it gets too much, and I have to get up and seek release in the restroom.
I never had luck with younger sexy females, inside or outside the tennis event. Hey, maybe I am simply irresistible to older hags only. Not everyone can say that.
What are you trying to say? Don’t freaking @#$ with me!!!!!!!!!!
Jenny said
Hilarious post! Saw Pete lose to Roger at Wimbledon 2001, it was exciting. Thought at the time as a Pete fan – who is this upstart with the bandanna! Contrary to belief, us Brits don’t like to queue when we can watch it on TV.
chieko said
You must be a very attractive young man tennisplanet. I was at Shanghai when Federer lost to Nalbandian ( Roger lost!!) . but no one did those things to me….thank goodness !!
hako said
I would do the same things to you…..and I have no idea what you look like. I am bi-polar, bi-sexual and bi-lingual so no surprise I guess. For some reason I’m really craving a corndog….wrapped in an old bag.
banti said
Take me with you. Ill introduce you too every hottie in the stadium:) If Fed goes down a break your on your own though:)
Dory said
I’ve never been to one. I want to see the Djoker play live! He’s so cute and funny.