Fun stuff Djokovic has said / wanted to say / is thinking of saying, about Federer.
Posted by tennisplanet on September 16, 2007
-Federer has no teeth. Even when he smiles, there is nothing there.
-This is the last year of Federer winning a Grand Slam. No more Grand Slams from now on.
-Federer is gay. That explains his attendance at fashion shows and the need to ‘dress up’ and look pretty. And did you see the Gillette commercial? Him caressing Woods on the cheek. Woods is the pitcher there, for sure.
-Can anyone even see the difference after that $800 hair cut? It is still jumble of dishevelled bunch to me. What a joke.
-He was lucky at this US Open. Luck is his only ally now. It’s about to run out, SOON.
-My mom is prettier and classier than his. Even Nadal’s parents are better looking than Federer’s.
-My girl friend Jellena is prettier and is not morbidly obese.
-Have you seen his long face whenever he loses? He almost becomes a horse, with his nostrils practically touching the ground.
-He keeps tugging at his shorts at his left upper thigh, trying to pull it out of his scrotum. That’s not too different from what Nadal does. No class.
-My father is a business owner and not some salesman in a pharmacutical crap company for South Africa, of all the places. Actually he was given that territory because no one wanted it.
-I am better than him, compared to where he was at 20 years of age.
-As my dad correctly said, he is scared of me and has admitted to that, at all the press conferences and interviews.
-He has never had a tennis player in his box ever. And he has never had a bigger fish than Robert De Niro.
-I am getting more press coverage than him even after gifting him the US Open.
-Federer is dry and boring. I have a much better sense of humor.
-I love to see him bent over, while I keep bouncing the balls before the serve. What fun. Oh, now. No, not now. Oh now. Oh, not now. Keep that fanny up in the air little longer, dude and keep twirling the racket.
-That black outfit was outrageous. Everyone was making fun of it in the locker room. His new name: Pretty boy.
-I can speak as many languages as he does. So pack it in, pretty boy.
-He doesn’t even own a house. Lives in apartments. I have a huge house. It’s because he is a miser. That’s why he is without a coach. He cannot part with his money. Miser pretty boy.
-I will break all his records. He won’t break Sampras’s record. I will make sure of that.
-Federer’s relationship with Mirka is plutonic. She is just an employee. Wawrinka is the one getting all the action.
-I was able to attract a blonde model like Sharapova with my looks and without an $800 hair cut.
chieko said
TP san you are terrible!! I do not think Djokovic said all those things. You are the one. shame on you TP!!
Mika said
I’m laughing my ass off. Good job!
Btw, i love both Fed and Djokovic.
It’s very interesting, this new rivalry, much more interesting than Nadal-Federer one.
Jenny said
TP You are just awful – stop it!!!! I bet the wooden spoon manufacturers are having difficulty keeping up with you!!
CV said
He also said, I would never have a GF
for so many years without making a commitment,
or walk.
Hako said
Well, if Roger does have his rump in the air, waiting for Novak, I doubt that its his racket he’s twirling. Uhm, lets leave Roger’s scrotum out of any future posts, I’m way more comfortable talking about Nadal’s butt……no, I don’t know why. Mirka is not morbidly obese….but she does represent one weeks worth on steaks and sausage…..according to the Cannibal Cookbook. Thank you TP for showing Djokavic for who he really is…..I think.
mo said
Enjoy this post very much TP man, you are a crazy genious of creative writing lol.
Gracie said
More like Fun Stuff TP WANTS Djokovic to say about Federer…
Too easy. How about the other side of that coin? What Fed might have to say about Djoko’s $8 porcupine haircut; his friend’s box filled with the same hideous shirt (as if the ONE wasn’t bad enough!); Djoko’s need for a few more fashion gurus in his camp, and a little less bouncing of his own balls… How about: Fed sends a gift of earplugs in the event Djoko plans to remain ‘close’ to the 120 decibel Shrieeek, whose only ‘model’ quality is that of prototype for an early warning system in case of a nuclear attack… And hey, wanna trade a few pressers for one of my trophies? Never mind! Oh, and ahurrr-achuurrrr-huurrr, let’s not forget the Lucky Seven: Choke, Choke, Choke, Choke, Choke, Choke, Choke!
I’ve done my part. Let the games begin.
Eva said
Ha, ha, ha–laughing inside. My teeeth don’t show either unless I smile very widely. And I wonder what Federer may think of Djokovic? I am in a trance, and my typing has changed… it sounds deeper, coming from afar, why, it’s telepathy…
–Novak’s hair is like the porcupine shaped clothes brush I got for my father’s birthday
–If you look at him closely, with hisbody language, and that odd-shaped hair and impossibly long face, he looks like a donkey–no, wait, like an ass, hmm, the kind you ride.
–Heh, heh, losers like to sit together. Was Maria still smiling and clapping at the end..?
–My father does good for the world with medications and stuff. Novak’s mom and dad make creepy crepes–which are made in countries in Central Eastern Europe. Just a little shack, probably, a Mom and Pop operation. What business?
–His mom doesn’t look bad, just going downhill. Too much skiing, I suppose.purse. What’s with his dad? Used to domestic fights, or barrom brawls, because he waves his arms madly and jumps up all the time
–Girlfriend? Can only be for cover, ’cause Novak is so in love with himself.. ‘I am pretty, oh so pretty, and happy and gay…
–What’s that on the other side of the net? He’s holding my serve: it’s the foot that got caught in his mouth again!
–Poor Djoko, his biggest problem is that he wants to be me, have what I have, my life, my hard-wired game, my amazing reflexes, my status and connections, ( quote from TP post)even my past achievements. He doesn’t realize it can never be; all the technology in the world can’t make him me…(I’ll guard my DNA, just in case…)
–He is not very fit, no? All those medical breaks. One day soomeone may beat him and give a legitimate excuse for medical breaks
–Might aas well give up tennis, Djoko, and become show organizer, promotional guy or male stripper, since you will not be Number One. Can you say two, three…stung by my vanity…
–Dribble, dribble, dribble. Is he just lost or on his way to the basketball court?
–Drool boy, drool: when you will be my age, you will find that you won’t need a trophy case like mine. A smallish shelf should do.
–You are a hoot, man. Some people swim a strait, shore to shore: you want to reach the other side of the ocean, but aren’t sure if you can swim well enough
bascule said
This is great, very funny. He could also say: Everytime you’re going to make a big point, I’ll break it with medical timeouts for my “foot massage”. Greetings from Belgarde
Mika said
nah, you are not half as close to make me laugh out loud, let’s not spoil the brilliant post.
but, seriously, ‘wawrinka is the one getting all the action’ – priceless.
bascule said
Tennisplanet – great post, but Eva, you are too far of looking smart or funny. You’re just patetic and full of prejudice. Are you the girl who lived in Europe? That’s sad, but now it’s clear that you don’t like serbs (cause this is not the first time), it must be that you were wrongly informed in the past.
bascule said
I’m sorry, I overreacted. Why I can’t edit my posts?
Hako said
Personally, I love Novak. He makes me grin, and I’m sure he would be a funny drunk…..I am……when I not vomiting or blacked-out. He also has some serious game folks, he really IS good. The hair…..omg, I would love to have his hair….or even my own hair back. My head is silky smooth these days cuz I got sick of the thin spot in back. Sorry Eva, but Novak doesn’t look like a donkey to me. He’s pleasant looking, in a slightly goofy way. Not classicly handsome, but better looking than most guys I personally know.
I made fun of his hair in the past, and called it a chunk of mastodon fur once. Truth is, I’m envious, and I’d like to run my hand through it. Okay ,I admit it. Are all you caravan rubbish satisfied now? Sorry Novak. I guess confession is good for the soul…..but I’d rather have my hair…or his.