Random thoughts.
Posted by tennisplanet on January 21, 2008
-Why is the vein in Federer’s right hand, around his elbow bulging to the point of bursting any moment? Does he even know that he has a left hand? The left hand doesn’t even look, it belongs to the same body. Federer, use the left hand tonight. You need the exercise and sex relieves stress – something you have more of than anything else. It also induces sleep. I use it more as a motivation to wake up again, though.
-Why does Federer have to shove his right hand in his pocket for no reason? Federer, you are not fooling anyone. We all know where that pocket leads to. Please keep it for when you are at the chair during changeovers.
-Why are all linespeople around the whole in such horrible shape? What’s next? People in wheel chairs and that ‘blow air to move the chair’ people? Or is it the only way to make them stand during the day? I am tired of seeing these disfigured bodies. I have enough of them at my basement. They may not be all alive, but gross is gross.
-Have you seen Federer’s handbag that he carries on the court? Roger, if you are letting Wawrinka choose the color and the design of such personal items, may be it’s time to either expand the closet or just step out of it.
-That ‘one leg in the grave’ Dick Enberg is like an old dog who wags his tail even if someone looks at him. It’s as if the next thing he is going to do, is lie down on the floor, pleading to be allowed to speak. And that midget Patrick McEnroe takes full advantage of it. Dick, just freaking retire instead of publicly humiliating yourself on national TV every freaking day.
-Did you hear Mary Carillo say that ‘Ivanovic is having her way with her opponent’? Is that the right lingo to be used here? Mary, we understand you are out of the closet, but don’t impose yourself on young impressionable minds so blatantly. Shouldn’t the representative of straight people demand for her resignation now? Don Imus, are you up for it?
-Can someone please pay the person who talked Venus to wear a skirt over those shorts? What an ugly sight that was. Venus, if that shirt you were wearing was the best specimen of your clothing line, may be you may be better suited to stitch uniforms for hospital maids. GEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!
-Is it too much to ask these female players to wear that wrist sweat band to wipe their sweat from their upper lip, instead of using the back of their hand? Maybe we might need to provide tissue boxes soon.
-Can it be made mandatory to jump at least five times before serving for womens’ players, pllllleeeeeeeaaaaaaase. That Venus William’s opponent had my full attention.
-Why do you have to look at your opponent after winning a point? What are you looking for? The opponent to fall down on the court, and forfeit the match. Just look at your freaking box and do your theatrics there.
-Why are ball boys opening their hands open at the opposite end of the player serving? No one is asking or looking for balls from them. If it’s for the ball boys at the opposite end, then the bird brain lunatic who’s in charge of this BS, needs to visit my basement after 11 tonight. Or are they trying to repel unwanted advances from players. Hey, it could be happening. Remember the pages at Capitol Hill had their share for a long time before it was discovered. Now that I think about it, can someone please arrange adult supervision at all pizza parties Federer throws for ball boys? I think I am on to something here. Something’s definitely fishy there.
-Who gave these nimrods at ESPN the idea, that when we want to see highlights of a completed match, that we only want to see the last freaking point? Newsflash, you morons, we want to see the best rally in the match, not the handshake after the freaking match. GGGGGGEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!!
-Hantuchova, last thing we want to see on your skeleton is your nipples. You make Mauresmo look elegant. Is that your way of declaring that you do have some flesh on the bones? Can someone invent a contraption to make the nipples disappear at least on such humans, please.
-And BTW, why did nobody play tennis today?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Katie said
What is it with you and nipples TP? Guess you and the goats never have wet t-shirt contests. One of Ivanavic’s matches came REALLY close to one the other day. It’s not the women’s fault, unless you consider NOT stuffing something down your bra to hide your anatomy to be blatant disregard. (Just love that–blatant disregard).
And as long as your kvetching about ESPN, what was that bull they pulled when during the Federer Berdych match they switched to Darren and Chris chatting at the desk to talk about THE FREAKING FOOTBALL GAME??? I know who won the football game, as I got to switch to it everytime the losers at ESPN went daft on their coverage which was often. Like to see them try that at the Super Bowl. Tom Brady just rifles off a touchdown pass, but hold on folks, let’s give you the results of the Australian Open. Oh THAT’D fly. Football fans wouldn’t stand for it, which leads me to wonder why tennis fans do.
Jenny said
LOL Katie, it isn’t just about the ladies nipples, it’s also about the gents nether regions too, I despair!. You need to get out of that basement more often TP!
Agree with you both about the broadcasting nonsense.
cms said
Katie – I agree with you about the football intermission. Honestly, is anyone who cares about the football game even WATCHING a fourth round tennis match? There wasn’t enough discussion about it on parent ESPN?
Arbit said
TP…..i think u r in ok state with your goats…..afterall a guy needs to care about “nips and butts”
Caro Pastorius said
Venus’ clothing is really ugly. I know she designed an affordable line but affordable does not have to be ugly.
I played tennis today… or more like a game where I run around, swinging the racquet and hoping something good happens. Not too good a player here.
The players’ looking at their opponent after scoring a point is just another example of really poor sportsmanship and rudeness.
And then there is that goofd Patrick Mc Enroe whining that “Ivanavic is not hungry enough to win a big tournament”. Right. She’ll win one before you ever will.
Sandra said
I agree wholeheartedly with the comments about moving away from the tennis to talk about the friggin football game. Also just want to comment on Roddick and Hewitt’s “crotch adjusting” or are they just checking to make sure their jewels are still there? Nipples certainly are not worse than having to watch that – not to mention Rafa’s bum picking!!
Ozzie said
I agree, it is not modest to see parts of the body while playing (do something about the material so the nipples are not seen), the ‘crotch adjusting, Rafa’s bum picking (adjust the shorts or pants). Other players doesn’t do these things, it is so disgusting to watch these routines while playing.