Cartoons of the week.

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Alligator tears?

Isn’t your first impulse when the tears start running to grab a tissue or something? And if that’s not accessible, fingers, sleeve etc.?

Or the lure of being on National TV and all over the media so powerful that you don’t even make an effort to pretend? It’s clear you are not wiping the tears to make sure the cameras catch the whole cascade. You are not fooling anyone.

And what’s up with the finger and the freaking shave? Geeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!

Federer’s back problems will:

Federer has no freaking clue what painkiller drugs are for.

By now, all you lazy freaks should be aware that Federer is on painkillers for his back.

I am no doctor – yet – but if you have pain, doesn’t that mean you are hurt? And by taking pain killers you are just removing the discomfort without addressing the underlying problem?

Translation: You are playing injured.

So as the injury gets worse, while you continue playing on it (and proving how big a knucklehead you are) instead of resting, the pain killers will ensure that you don’t feel the injury worsening. Isn’t that tantamount to hitting on an injured finger with a hammer after numbing it so you don’t feel the pain?

Add what’s at stake and you have got to be freaking out of your freaking mind to be moronically stupid to be even stepping out of your adjustable bed with massage.

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Federer to play more exhibition matches. From June. Thanks.

JUNE

Just had a confirmation of the news: Roger Federer, James Blake, Björn Bjorg and John McEnroe to showdown in exhibitions in Macau -> Kuala Lumpur after the Tennis Masters Cup in Shanghai.

Originally having a choice between Rafael Nadal and James Blake, the latter was decided as the player in Kuala Lumpur after US’s loss to Spain in Davis Cup semi (here is the article on the toss-up between Nadal/Blake) but to be honest, I doubt Rafa will take part with his knee problem-itis going on.

Click here for the official site and here for some blog-gage news.

My question to Federer is: are you freaking kidding?

WITH your back problems (apparently serious enough to make you pull out of in-midst of a tournament first-time-evah-omigawd in your entire career) AND your declining physical condition (come on, admit it) AND the fact that you NEED to just take a break already from these stupid exhibition matches which sort of, y’know, PROVED that it did NOTHING for you for your 2008 season – again, Roger, are you out of your mind?

I think this may be one of his dumbest decisions ever, to STILL take part in this event, based on his form and run this year. Okay, still a great year for any other tennis player with one Slam and several ATP tour titles blah blah blah but Federer knows that he is not just “any” player and he knows that he NEEDS a stellar 2009 season.

WHY still going with the exhibitions? Okay, so he was supposedly committed from July blah blah but even back in July he shouldn’t be committing himself to anything that does not help in maintaining and sustaining his form.

Seriously cut the crap already with the exhibitions, Federer. This better be the last one ever of your active career. You can play to your heart’s content AFTER retirement but hello, Number Fourteen? And the record-breaking Number Fifteen? Priorities much?

Women’s tennis is a joke? From Adrian. Thanks.

ADRIAN

Women’s tennis is a joke. For a while now people have questioned the injuries and timeouts taken by most top players, from Justine Henin to Jelena Jankovic. I simply can’t believe that Ana Ivanovic and Serena Williams just retired from the WTA Championships because of “injuries” — it certainly didn’t look like they were injured just yesterday. So what happened? Ivanovic couldn’t stomach the possibility of losing the 3 matches of her round robin and Serena was too emotionally crushed after being squashed by her sister; that’s what happened. I particularly resent these two retirements because both Ana and Serena are two of my favorite players on the WTA tour… and I just think it’s morally wrong that they can retire like that and still get paid $100,000 for their “participation”!!! This should be a tournament like any other… if you lose all 3 of your matches, you should get ZERO in prize money… For God’s sake, create the incentives to make them WANT to win… whether it is with prize money or ranking points, I don’t care… and calling it quits at that stage, so shamelessly, should have a high penalty. It looks to me that the only true competitors in this tournament have been Safina (I’m really sad she lost all three of her matches — she fought really hard, I thought) and Vera Zvonareva — kudos to her.

Anyway, enjoy the rest of the championship… provided the players allow us to!