Djokovic imitating the talk show host. From Jennifur. Thanks.

Translation of Djokovic’s interview on Italian TV. From Bjornino. Good work. Thanks.

BJORNINO

TP, I don’t know if I should put this here or in the same thread as the Djoko-talk show-video, so I will post in both places and let u decide. Cheers/Bjornino

Hello everyone,

I thought I’d give it a try.. I am sort of a closet-italian speaker, never studied the language, but italian talk shows are so silly that even I understand most of what they say. So here it is, with no claim to be perfect: a lil translation of Djoko’s appearance on Italian TV in the clip above: (and I wonder how much Djoko himself understood of that yacking and babbling host..)

Host: It’s amazing, cuz among you here in the audience is an athlete who’s number 3 in the world and who won the Rome Masters last year (and so on and so on…lots of Italian blah blah there)
(apparently Djoko was sitting in the audience and his emerging on the stage was meant to be a surprise)
…and his name is: DJOKOVIC!! How are you?? Number 3 in the World! Come here with me… Blah blah…

Host: How old are you?

Djoko: 21

Host: 21…21…you could have been my son, because I am 49…

Djoko: Why this reaction? Am I too young?

Host: YES! It’s terrible…I am 49, you’re 21.. Please, do me a favour, call me “Papa” for a lil while here, ok?

Djoko: Papa…

Host: Ciao! When will you play?

Djoko: (laugh) Tomorrow.

Host: Good, I recommend you. In front of you, you have this…giant mouse (making wierd face)…Nadal..
…and then the other one… EXTREMELY serious… Federer.

Djoko: Yes, the perfect Swiss..

Host: And you, what is your nationality, and you residence?

Djoko: Serbia, and Monte Carlo.

Host: Oh really?? (laughs)

Djoko: I am sure you know MC, but probably you dont know Serbia so well.

Host: Well…Serbia…don’t know..but no, I don’t know much about MC, they won’t let me in (he speaks REALLY fast here, don’t know if I got that right)
So, what is SO great about Monte Carlo? The beautiful ocean?

Djoko: Yes, the beautiful ocean, without tax!

Host: Without tax!! (then a lot of nonsense)

Host: Ok, now listen, if you search on youtube for “Djokovic”…what’s your first name?

Djoko: Novak.

Host: He imitates ALL the other players, how they move, how they strike the ball and so on…
May I make an experiment? (tries speaking English for about 1.5 seconds)

Djoko: Shall we imitate together?

Host: Yes…maybe we should… My SON!

Host: (imitates Marlon Brando in “Godfather” – I guess)

..then the imitations start..Djoko doesn’s seem as relaxed about doing this as he did 2 years ago, imo..
After the Nadal forehand, the host goes on:

Host: So when Nadal wins a big point, how does he celebrate?

Djoko: It’s impossible for me to show, since his biceps are so much bigger than mine.

Host: Oh yes, Nadal is a Giant Mouse…eats a lot of cheese with lots of protein…bla blah..

Djoko: (makes Nadal leap)

Host: Ok, listen: Miss Shaparova…SharaPOVA!…do you know her?

Djoko: Yes, very well.

Host: In what sense…….? If someone says: “I know her well”, it means he knows her well as a friend..but if he says “VERY well….”

Djoko: Well, she’s a good friend..

Host: Ahaa…”good”….

Djoko: Well, she’s from Russia, that’s very close to our country.

Host: Aha, maybe future wife (that’s what I think he said..probably some kind of Italian word-joke)

Host: Now he’ll do his fantastic Sharapova-imitation!

Djoko: But I don’t have a skirt.

Host: Don’t worry, the audience will imagine it!

Djoko: (imitates Sharapova)

Host: Novak Djokoviiiiic!!!

(Does the stupid host even know they gave him a freakin badminton racket???)

Host: Now, YOU have to kiss me! Ladies and gents: A MAESTRO! A great player, but above all a great person!
Djokovic! Beat everyone at the Foro Italico now! Amazing blah blah blah blah!!! May I give you this racket? Bring it to Monte Carlo!
Amazing amazing blah blah blah..

Probably one of the most stupid talk show hosts I’ve seen…

Well, my Italian is not great, but I think that should at least bring you the essence of it ^^

Looking forward to great matches at Foro Italico!

Regards/Björn

Do face masks help prevent swine flu infection?

Click here.

Contenders: Rome ’09.

Player	Aces	Ist serve pct.	Sets lost	Tie bks	Bk pt conv %	Time on court.	Matches played
Nadal	3	67	0	0	63	5:48	4
Federer	8	55	0	1	43	3:44	3 OUT
Djokovic	14	56	1	1	57	6:29	4
Murray							OUT

McEnroe (audio) on turning 50, being Federer’s coach and more.

Click here.

Safin now using ‘color’ tactics to win?

Photos.

Dark side of a champion. From Sarah. Thanks.

SARAH

I didn’t want to post it – because I don’t believe. But… it does fit here.

The Illustrated – 11.02.2009

The controversy

The dark side of a champion

Written by Blaise Calame

Rafael Nadal, the era of suspicion

Superhuman performance, strikes from elsewhere, a physical Gladiator: in 22 years, the Spanish tennis over the planet. But is it flawless? Her young career is fraught with gray areas.

Melbourne, 1 February 2009. Spaniard Rafael Nadal won his first Australian Open after a gripping final in five sets. Roger Federer is empty, broken, bitter. Powerless, he cries. Nadal the console, triumphant.

Including his semi-final marathon against Verdasco, the Majorcan just spend nine hours on court 37 in less than two days to run as a consideration. Federer, who had folded his semi-final in three sets, has been exhausted. So in the span of the Rod Laver Arena, there are those who celebrate the triumph of the king Nadal. And those who doubt.

Questions about a champion

Nadal is it doped? The small world of tennis hate talk. No player is likely to condemn the world: fear for the image, fear for the sponsors. But the short and brilliant career of the Spanish has always been accompanied by questions. Out of adolescence with Gladiator overpowering arm, the ability to recover non-standard, and the excitement evident between points as if he was still hot after five hours of Thursday while it was 35 degrees: the boy forced air perfect suspect.

Suspect because that beyond the standards. Superhuman. “Rafa is so much intensity in each point that something will eventually drop in his body,” said recently in London, Pete Sampras. A year ago, his coach and uncle Toni Nadal gave the Diario de Mallorca: “Rafa is suffering from chronic inflammation in his left foot. This is very serious. “Since then, he would not run in training. However, on the court …

In 2003, Nadal is suspected of taking anabolic steroids. Three years later, a large tennis magazine evokes a positive control in the tournament in Dubai, without result. At Roland Garros in 2004, Le Temps speaks of “sports high-ranking” for reporting a doping investigation against three Spanish players: Nadal, Juan Carlos Ferrero and Alex Corretja. The blow falls. The following year, in the final of Roland Garros, Nadal atomizing Argentine Mariano Puerta … which will itself be sanctioned for doping. In 2006 Puerto case broke (see below).

Last year, finally, after his victory against Federer in Paris, the daily L’Equipe revealed that Nadal was tested positive to etilefrine, a stimulant that he had prescribed against influenza …

That’s a lot for one man. “I’ve never taken anything in my life, says the Spanish. I have not received such education. “Meanwhile, he surrounds himself with lawyers.

The shortcomings of tennis

The chance to Nadal and the other is without doubt that we have long believed that tennis doping did not exist. A wrong, even if the controls are recent serious. Previously, it was the ATP, so the players, who managed the problem with the International Tennis Federation (ITF). The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has demanded an end to the too familiar refrain of dirty laundry washed in the family. Now, the ITF acts alone is better. But is it enough?

“Some sports federations are very open in relation to communication about doping, while others, like tennis, much less,” says Martial Saugy, head of the Swiss laboratory analysis of doping. Therefore, the list of cheaters has recognized only one winner of a Grand Slam tournament, the Czech Petr Korda, a team of Argentine and non-grade. Pinched in 2004, the Briton Greg Rusedski balance: “Half the players on the Top 100 are doped! It does not say … because the ATP has led a tough life for the few snitches. For expressing his doubts about some players fresh in the fifth set that first, the French Nicolas Escudé was even forced to make a public apology.

Pharmacy possible doping tennis is rich with the power to strike: Nandrolone and anabolic steroids, for Endurance: steroids, ephedrine and nandrolone; for the concentration finally: ephedrine.

“Before, players took amphetamines. Why they not only use of EPO today? “Last summer was a doctor in humanity. Dr Bernard Montalvan, doctor teams from France tennis stated unequivocally: “The urine tests are outdated.” However, the vast majority of players outside the blood.

Unsure of their relevance in the tournament, Martial Saugy rather pleads for longitudinal follow-up and increased random checks. “In recent years, we went to a more sophisticated doping to prepare the body for better support recovery and long efforts, he adds. This doping was more difficult to detect. It combines a mosaic of growth hormone, EPO and steroids (testosterone), which will act on several metabolic routes with great variability between individuals. ”

The case of Puerto

February 2006: The Spanish Civil Guard, warned two years earlier by the repentant cyclist Jesús Manzano, in Madrid discovered a clandestine laboratory blood samples. On 23 May, Dr Eufemiano Fuentes was arrested. The seizure is spectacular: 224 bags of blood, blood products and plasma, anabolic steroids, the EPO and growth hormones. Four days later, Dr. Fuentes was released on bail. We learn quickly that, of 200 athletes (!) Concerned, at least 58 cyclists, including Italian Ivan Basso and German Jan Ullrich, have consulted.
The Spanish justice s’ingénie however to ensure that the names of other athletes are not disclosed. The headlines refer Rafael Nadal, the footballers of Real Madrid and Barcelona. Rafa’s uncle, Miguel Angel Nadal, played at Barça. Has he introduced his nephew to Dr. Fuentes? The Spanish Minister for Sport, Jaime Lissavetsky, rises to niche: “No footballer or tennis player is involved.” Problem: the ministerial statement is disputed by Fuentes himself July 6, broadcast on Cadena SER .

The Spanish justice turned a deaf ear. The Puerto case is classified for the first time in March 2007 and again in late September 2008. Meanwhile, an anti-doping law was passed in Spain, but without retroactive effect, it may not apply. On 12 January, however, the ears: in response to calls from the prosecution, the International Cycling Union (UCI) and the World Anti-Doping Agency in particular, the Madrid judge Antonio Serrano to reopen this issue reeks of bomb . Will there soon if Nadal has offered the services of Dr Fuentes expensive?

The pride of Spain

The Puerto highlights to fighting doping, Spain has long dragged its feet. Things are changing, but slowly. “Spain is a country that exists across the sport,” says the director of the Swiss laboratory in the fight against doping. It feels good when you have a case positive for the Spanish sports compared to others, by passing the controllers for the guilty! “Spain will not hear, much less from the country’s entry into recession in late 2008. For Spaniards, the suspicion hanging over their champions, as Nadal, are just jealous conspiracies fomented abroad.

A logical reaction, “says sociologist Raffaele Poli, Institute of Sports Science, University of Lausanne. “The emotions are the victories are stronger than the doubts hanging over the sport.” He noted “a trend toward social acceptance of doping.”

Highlights muscles and raging fists, Nadal is the symbol of a triumphant conquering Spain, bulimic victories. There, the sport is king, King Juan Carlos loves the sport. And when he kisses Nadal, he is his equal. “In Spain, the political pressure is huge in football, athletics and tennis,” dares a specialist in anti-doping. Overcome or die: no one else. For the moment, Rafael Nadal remains untouchable. B. Ca

The dark

The Majorcan Rafael Nadal, living embodiment of the fighting spirit. His gaze cache there any truth less flamboyant?

March 2003

The tournament in Hamburg, Rafael Nadal still has a figure comparable to that of other athletes his age.

January 2008

Training on the sidelines of the Australian Open in Melbourne. The morphology of Nadal, all muscles, is impressive.

Doping

Arrested in Madrid, then released, Dr. Eufemiano Fuentes (inset) conducted a laboratory processing blood products. Rafael Nadal has benefited from its services.

Equal princes

6 July 2008: Rafael Nadal won his first title at Wimbledon. Leaping to the Tribune, he is warmly embraced by Prince Felipe and Princess Letizia of Spain, which give it the same time the status of untouchable

McEnroe’s warped motivation to relentlessly dog Federer for the coaching gig.

To get one last moment under the sun for being instrumental in getting Federer the FO and the GOAT status.

Or is the enmity against Sampras for not bowing to you as a Davis Cup captain so strong that you will shamelessly continue begging for the post?

Nitwit, if the guy didn’t respond the first time when you publicly made a fool of yourself by calling him out in the media instead of making a discreet phone call – it’s NOT freaking happening.

What part of that NO don’t you understand?

Besides, if Becker who got to just six Slams didn’t listen to you when you forced yourself as his coach, what makes you think a 13-Slammer will even look at you?

You have to live with it now that Sampras has twice as many Slams as you and he gives a rat’s ass as to what you think of him.

Your energy, if it’s genuine, should be spent helping new US upcomers like Querrey or Isner etc. Who is in more need of your help here? If it’s the sport you care more instead of your own prominence, then do what’s right.

Oh, but that won’t get you the exposure to get you to recover the $2 million you were stupid enough to lose to some swindler.

Cut the crap out and stop running after the limelight and do something concrete for the sport for a freaking change. Geeeeeeezzzzz!!!!!!!!

Djokovic on Italian TV. Sounds like Godfather to me. What are they saying?

Space for:

1. Your concern for Adrian who lives in Mexico, heavily affected by swine flu.

2. Adrian to provide update on his and his family’s well being.

Doping in Tennis. Thanks.

YR FAVE PLAYER DOPES

In late March, the ITF released its drug testing stats for 2008. While we heard much grumbling about how the players are so upset over being bothered by testers and how the ITF is so into catching dopers, we didn’t hear much about the release of the stats.
My username is reflecting how no player can be seen as clean.

Keep in mind, unlike other sports:
*Tennis does not release the results of who tested negative, compared to the USA Track and Field, which does so quarterly.
Click here.

* Nothing in the Anti-Doping Programme for this year mentions that positive results must be released to the public. Also, the three person panel that reviews any test can ask, and receive, the name of the player under review.

Click here.

*Tennis only tests the losers at the events.
The Tour de France catches people because after each stage in the three-week event, the overall leader, the stage winner, and two riders are tested at random. Also, every rider is tested after the first-day stage.

Compare 2008 UCI(Pro-Cycling’s ITF)Stats with the 2008 ITF Stats:
In-competition anti-doping tests
UCI conducted 5,509 Urine tests and 587 Blood Tests.
ITF conducted 1,770 Urine Tests and 157 Blood Tests(only done at Slams).

Out-of- competition anti-doping tests
UCI conducted 2,013 Urine Tests and 4,649 Blood Tests.
ITF/WADA conducted 91 Urine Tests and 0 Blood Tests

Total Testing
UCI conducted 12,758 tests to the ITF’s 2,018.

Pre-competition medical blood screens
UCI conducted 466 tests to the ITF’s 0.

Grand Total of UCI 13,224 to the ITF’s 2,018

UCI:
Click here.
ITF:
Click here.

UCI Registered Testing Pool:
Click here.

Stefan Koubek on training with Federer. From Sarah. Thanks.

SARAH

There is an interview with Stefan Koubek

28.04.2009

Interview by Christian Frühwald

“Wife and children won’t burden Roger”

Stefan Koubek is keeping his fingers crossed for Federer at the French Open

Vienna – Last week many tennis fans would have loved to swap places with Stefan Koubek

The 32years old guy from Kärten had the honour to train a whole week with superstar Roger Federer on Sardinia.

As sparring partner the Austrian Daviscupplayer should partake in helping Federer finding his form on clay, in order to start once again a run to get the first French Open title.

“The training was extremely strong”, Koubek tells in an interview with LAOLA1 after his home running from Italy. “It was impressive, how good and how much Roger is training.”

Beside this Koubek is revealing what he can take away from this trainingsweek, why he wasn’t present at the Federer wedding and how he is assessing the chances of Federer in Paris.

LAOLA1: Last week you were allowed to spend a trainingsweek with Roger Federer and his team on Sardinia. How did the training with such a superstar went?

Stefan Koubek: It was really great. The traning was extremely strong and good. I was lucky to be able to work with Roger’s physiotherapist as well, otherwise I don’t know if I would have bore the week. I had lots of fun and was impressed how good and how much he is training. Before I thought he wouldn’t do that much.

LAOLA1: How exactly did the training run?

Koubek: It’s a combination of a lot of things, not just on the court. Before the tennistraining he always did a fitness training. Afterwards he took a massage and so on. It’s a long procedure. To get up early in the morning, training, to loosen. During the lunchbreak we had something to eat and then went back to practicing. One day in the week we had the half day off, but were on court from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Of course there was the fitness training before again.

LAOLA1: Did you practice anything special?

Koubek: We started with drills and played a few points afterwards. At bottom this is nothing diffent which I would usually do in practice. The level is of course totally different and this time I was the sparringspartner. I did all the practices like Roger. It was a common practice of. We both benefit from it.

LAOLA1: How did this whole trainingsweek arise?

Koubek: His coach asked me at the start of the season what I would be doing at this time of the yearand respectively in the summer. He wanted to know whether I would like to practice with Roger. No question I was interested in it. I told him he should say me a date. When I don’t play a tournament at that time I would be available.

LAOLA1: You are a friend of Federer for several years. How is your relationship to him these days?

Koubek: We are still good friends, but of course we didn’t have that much contact in the last years as before because he has a lot of things to do. We still get along really well and had a blast on Sardinia. We always joked in the training.

LAOLA1: You weren’t present at the wedding, right?

Koubek: No, I was already in Southafrica at that time. Roger’s wedding took place in a really small group. Allegro and Chiudinelli were the only tennisplayers who were there. They know each other since their boyhood. .

LAOLA1: Do you think that Federer has changed because of the wedding? Is he more loose or relaxed or do you think it could even have a negative impact?

Koubek: I don’t think his wedding has any impact on his tennis. It will be something different when his child is born. This can go in both directions. I think he is still really motivated and is going to play tennis for a couple of years. He can afford it to take his child with him on the tour. I’m not worried that it will stress him.

LAOLA1: You are on the tour for many years and an experienced player. What can you take with you from such a practice with Roger Federer?

Koubek: You can adopt several things, although there are a couple which would be helpful, but I can’t realise them. For example no “normal” player can afford to have a masseur, a tennis coach, a fitnesscoach and someone to restring the rackets. But you can really adopt many things from Roger, who is the best player in the world for me. His physical state is really impressive. He is moving very well and is extremely fit.

LAOLA1: How do you rate his chances at the French Open this year?

Koubek: Nadal is in a class of it’s own on clay for sure, but Roger can tame him on a good day. The opportunities are there. I wish for Roger that he is going to get the title in Paris. For me he is the best tennisplayer of all time and a victory in Roland Garros would only prove it.

Source: http://www.laola1.at/128+M59722665055.html

Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. From Sarah. Thanks.

SARAH

Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Please stay on the line until we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, please listen carefully until the voices tell you which number to press.
If you are borderline, it doesn’t matter which number you press- no one will answer.
If you are manic-depressive, please press 7 as fast as you can for the next 24 hours, and then crash for the following 24 hours.
If you have bipolar affective disorder, please leave a message after the beep and before the beep and after the beep.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
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If you suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.
If you suffer from social phobia, please hang up and go to a party.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone, and mother’s maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y & c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.