Roddick’s ultimate serve. From Esky. Thanks.

I finally got molested. My complex is over.

I went to the hospital for this Vertigo BS, you know that inner ear problem. The room starts spinning around, throwing up etc. etc.

I was on this hospital bed naked in a gown completely drained from the constant throwing up routine. My eyes half shut, I saw this nurse from the corner of my eye coming towards me.

My hands were tucked in resting on my thighs under the gown. This nurse, noticing I am almost asleep, slips her hand in and plays around with my ding dong for a good five seconds.

It was just too quick for me to react instantly. But when I did, she held my wrist and blurted out ‘Just checking the pulse’. I stumbled with ‘Oh, that’s fine’.

I guess they see turkey necks with all three legs hanging in the grave all day. Seeing fresh meat without the wrinkly skin must have turned her on.

Now all I want to now is this: Is there a way to bring that Vertigo thing on – intentionally? Because I had an erection for the rest of the time I was in that gown waiting for another pulse check.

Unfortunately they say Vertigo comes and goes on it’s own. There’s nothing you can do to bring it on or avoid it.

So I am back to stuffing tennis balls and TV remotes up my alley in the hope of another interaction long enough for some explosion. Hospitals don’t look too bad suddenly.

Ever happened to you?

Tyson in comedy. From Mike. Thanks.

MIKE

TP, Mike Tyson’s got a cameo in an upcoming comedy. It looks HILARIOUS! …

Click here for more.

Happy birthday to Mrs. Schop: May 20.