Guess who is simply loving these last 12 months or so?

Not only is Sampras losing hair, each of his seemingly invincible records are tumbling one after another. That has to be beyond heartening for this guy. Downside? He is about to go on another buffet binge to celebrate.

Nadal interview after beating Miss Kori.

Click here.

Federer’s next opponent: Ilija Bozoljac – Qualifier.



Age: 24.

Rank: 152. Highest: 101.

Height: 6’4″.

Country: Serbia.

Turned pro 8 years ago.

Career match record: 9-12. Yeah, that’s not a typo. How the heck is he playing in a Slam?

Wimbledon record: Of the four attempts, three times he was eliminated in the qualifying rounds. Reached second round once. Wow!!!! Is he the bottom of the bottom feeders or freaking what?

If this guy just wins a game – on his own serve – he will have achieved salvation.

Contenders’ next opponent.

Nadal: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase.

Federer: Prozac.

Djokovic: Dent.

Murray: M&M.

Roddick: Llllllllllllllllllllllllodra.

What is this ‘bowing’ BS to the Queen crap?

I am just infuriated by ‘pedastalling’ ANYONE for ANY reason, but to enroll yourself in it for someone who has done squat other than being born is beyond freaking ridiculous. As if that was not enough, to freaking bow to them is beyond words. And for people to say that it will be a privilege and honor to stick their behind in the air for some other human has to be the biggest sham of all.

Beyond all that is the one who is relishing all this with full knowledge that they are nothing if not for the brain washing they have subjected some people into accepting them as superior beings.

For rock people, tennis players at Wimbledon are being asked whether they will bow to the Queen when she makes her appearance at the event.

I just realized…………….

………………….that kissing is nothing but swapping spit. Eeeoooooooowwwwwwwwww!!!! And that you can contract all sorts of diseases from gingivitis to STDs. I must be a genius to think of the goats despite peer pressure (Peer pressure for me is the TV).

Sampras is back to beating his wife, kids and pets – again.

After a brief reprieve when Nadal stopped Federer from surpassing Sampras’s record for most weeks at No. 1, the victims are back to being battered again on an hourly basis as another record goes on the chopping block at Wimbledon: Most Wimbledon titles. For rock people just dragging their carcasses from under that rock, Federer owns six Wimbledon titles and can tie Sampras this year.

It’s gotten so bad that victims are actually rooting for Federer so they can return to their lives – without abuse. They are pointing to No. 15 as a major milestone in their return to physical and mental health. They also allege that Sampras painstakingly goes through record books all day to uncover new insignificant ones as excuse to continue the madness.

Federer finally solves Nadal puzzle……….

………….by convincing Swiss President to invade Spain as he has had enough.

Mission objectives:

Capture all clowns with names starting with R to leave nothing to chance.

Isolate ONE of them in a cell occupied by a ‘starving’ male gorilla – for mutual benefit!!!!!

Assign all titles won by Spainards to Switzerland – some to him personally.

All Shakira videos / performances / CDs etc. banned until further notice / similar video surfaces with him in lead.

Force Aunt Tony to ONLY use his left hand for EVERYTHING as pay back for screwing things up by making someone switch hands thereby creating a monster.

Xisca to be employed as nanny for the twins – only when Mirka is napping.

Wimbledon poems from Stella.

STELLA

OK, it’s all over, so, to wrap up, here is my final Wimbledon verse.
To those who liked the verses I say “Thanks” for telling me
To those who didn’t like them I say “Thanks” for not telling me.

so, as players assess how their grass court season went and look forward to the
American hard court season I will end with this.

The time has come the tennis coach said.
to talk of many things.
Of shots, and shoes and strategies.
And those Babolat RPM Blast strings.
And why England was boiling hot.
And what the hard court season brings.

that’s all folks

————————————————-

we used to sing “rounds ” around the caampfire as Brownies and Guides.

so this is
rafa and Tomas in roundabout way.

Wimbledon July 4th.
4th final there for Nadal.
Nadal wins in straights over Berdych.
Berdych can’t break Rafa’s serve.
Serve wide to the ad court.
Court baseline turned to dry clay.
Clay no worries for Rafa.
Rafa , second title at Wimbledon.
Wimbledon July 4th.
4th final there for Nadal ………….. and so on, and so on

—————————————————-

today and tomorrow, and wrap up Monday. I’m getting ready for retirement.

Vera’s bad dream.

I just had a really bad nightmare.
Dreamt I was playing on famed Centre Court.
Across the net was Serena.
it was harder than I’d ever thought.

She looked so angry while playing.
Hit lots of first serves, so well placed.
So, even though I tried my hardest.
Time after time I was aced.

But today I didn’t break my racquet.
Have a tantrum or even blub out loud.
And I fought to the very last second.
My surgeon and rehab guy should be proud.

Now I’ve awakened it was no dream
Serena is champion today.
But my Wimbledon dream continues.
I’ve still the doubles final to play.

(rats I lost that too )

————————————————————-

today’s should read a bit like the Longfellow poem– Hiawatha.

On the courts at SW19
Stood the Scot/Brit Andy Murray.
Heard the speaking of the umpire
heard the clapping of the watchers.
“15-40 ” said the umpire.
‘Come on Andy” said the mother.
Saw the game coach Miles Maclagan
Saw him urge his man on forward
Keep our hopes alive of winning.
Keep the dream alive for Britain.

But the man from Dunblane, Scotland
Could not beat the Spaniard , Rafa.
Could not make the Britons happy.
Could not break the drought since Perry
So dies the soccer/Wimby double.
And leaves the Brits to drown their troubles.

Cheers !!

————————————————————

again I didn’t get to watch today so will settle down with my match tapes tonight.
Today is Canada Day and I spent much of the day on Parliament Hill in Ottawa, alongside well over 100,000 others to attend a concert, a flypast by the Snowbirds and to see the Queen who arrived in a horse drawn carriage with a escort of Royal Canadian Mounted Police on their beautiful steeds ( and hopefully no tasers). I say ” to see the Queen’ but since I’m 5ft 1 inch tall I saw most of it on the big monitors by the stage, but I did get a glimpse of her hat as she walked only about 5 feet away.

Today’s verse is the “by request” one. I was asked to do Kader Nouni. Ithought “how?” — then I remembered a comment made by Tracy Austin at the Rogers cup in Montreal and the verse grew from there.

The first time I heard Kader Nouni,
I was courtside, Roger’s Cup, Montreal.
When he spoke with that voice, and en Francais,
we eagerly awaited each call.

The next day I’m watching on TV,
Tracy Austin in the commentary box
suggests that each time she hears Monsieur Nouni
it makes her shiver right down to her socks.

“The grooviest man in tennis”
His Facebook homepage does say.
The BBC calls him La Umpo.
Je pourrais ecouter sa voix toute la journee.
( translated — I could listen to his voice all day )

———————————————————-

today was supposed to be about Nouni. That can wait till tomorrow.

We had a major event today. I don’t know much about the verse style called Haiku ( I read it is 3 lines, 5,7,5). Maybe Chieko San can tell me if I’ve got it all wrong but here is my attempt for today.

End of an era.
After seven straight finals.
Federer bows out.

and if I could speak to him I’d say:–

Go home , hug your girls.
You’re still their Number 1 Dad.
Your life is so blessed

——————————————————-

I’ve been out all day with no chance to see the day’s play so I don’t know who won or lost. So, it’s 6pm here and I have a lot of tapes to watch. that means todays verse is the more general type and not about today’s matches.

It was inspired by a kids book I spotted in Chapters on the weekend. I’m sorry Big sam Querrey lostyesterday because he’s the subject of the verse. Imagine if you will, Sam is about 8 years old , playing by his house near supper time. A load of boys with tennis racquets hitting balls in the driveway. There’s a tinkle of glass as a ball goes through a window. Dad Querey comes out to see who broke the window and sees a load of guilty looking kids.

Now, from Dr Seuss, Green Eggs and Ham , here is Sam I Am

I would not hit balls at a house.
I would not hit balls with a mouse.
I would not hit them with a fox.
No, I’m not standing on a box.
I would not hit them here or there.
I would not hit them anywhere.
I would not eat frogs legs or spam.
I do not like them, Sam I am.
I did not do it , sam I am..

PS tomorrows verse, by request is about Kader Nouni !!

——————————————

so I got the message that some of you want more verses so ………….
Today was Magic Monday. The US Open has Super Saturday but I’ve always thought that Wimbledon’s Magic Monday beats it hands down. All 32 players left in the singles draw are on court, none of this top half and bottom half of the draw stuff.

So for Magic Monday and its events you get a BOGO. Buy one , get one free

Of all the days to watch tennis,
Second Monday at Wimbledon’s best.
Round of 16 all men and women
and today we were certainly blessed.

I switched from one court to another,
many matches I wanted to see.
For as well as the marquee players,
there were many who were quite new to me.

I’ve spent countless hours watching tennis,
on TV and from the stands.
But I’ve never seen Zakopalova,
Pironkova,Groth,Lu or Brands.

and now the free one……….

A player from Taipei name of Lu.
Drew Roddick on Graveyard Court 2.
They said “Roddick in 3″
It wasn’t to be.
9-7 in the 5th, Lu goes through

——————————————————–

Suunday 27th a day of rest. I think this will be my last verse. I think people are getting tired of them so unless I find fans waving placards and protesting in the streets maybe I should stop.Let me know . I don’t want to outstay my welcome.

So this is to celebrate Federer . The greatest , the magic of his play , and the fact he made it to week two. This verse is with apologies to William Blake. As you read it ( or sing it) it is to the music of Sir Hubert Parry. All anglos or anglophiles will recognise this as the “hymn” Jerusalem
for those of you who do not know “Jerusalem I have included a you tube link to the song.

And did those feet in modern time,
Dance over England’s grass courts green.
And was the grestest of all time,
On England’s pleasant pastures seen.
He will not cease from mental fight,
nor shall his racquet sleep in his hand,
Till he has won another Slam.
In England’s green and pleasant land.

————————————————–

Umpires get a lot of criticism. They oveerrule too much, or not enough. They enforce the time rule, or not. They enforce the coaching rule, or not. you get the idea.
One thing they have to do is umpire for an amazing United Nations of players and I am always amazed at how they handle the names.
So that is the theme for today.

A smart young man did aspire,
To be a tennis umpire.
He said “I won’t worry”
“If I get Henin or Murray”
“But I don’t think I can say Krasnoroutskaya.
or Razafimahatratra
or Kudryavtseva
or Pryzsienzy
or Lertcheewakarn
or Pavlyuchenkova
or Amanmuradova
or Bogomolov
or Cervantes-HHuegun
or Chakhnashvili
or Dzehalevic
or Lapusshenkova
or Zahlavova Strycova
( especially if they play together in doubles)

All names taken from Wimbledon 2010 players list

————————————

hi.
after the first 4 days I really felt “tennissed out” today so here’s the latest.

I needed a break from just watching,
So I went out to play tennis instead.
But I did watch the straight sets from J J ,
and the same from my other fave, Fed.

Lleyton took on Gael on Centre.
“come on” defeated “allez”
The Djoker looked very impressive.
They’ll play each other Monday.

Isner went out with a whimper.
As we all expected he might.
Justine, Venus and Kim won their matches.
That’s it , so to all a good night.

——————————————–

well that was a historic day so I’ve changed from the comic style of the Limeric to a more “appropriate for the occasion” narrative verse style as used in epic poems and Norse sagas.
It’s longer , so , take a bathroom break, make a coffee, and here goes…………….

The Queen visited Wimbledon Thursday,
77 was the last time she came.
She met and lunched with some players.
Then sat in a box bearing her name.

At lunch she saw Fed and Martina,
Novak, A Rod,Ginny Wade and Billie Jean.
They ate salmon and chicken and salad,
and of course Kent strawberries and cream.

Andy and Jarkko were first on.
Walk, turn,put bags down,and then bow.
They must have been feeling quite nervous.
But got loud applause from the crowd.

When they finally started playing,
I’m sure it’s a fairly safe bet,
That neither man wanted their scoreboard,
To read 59 all, final set.

Then when the first match was over,
She met the players up on the roof.
Tim Phillipps then showed her the trophies,
She got in her car and was gone–”poof”

When she got back to the Palace,
She wispered in Prince Phillip’s ear,
They gave me lunch and a great seat , dear ,
But I don’t think I’ll go back next year.

Then Isner and Mahut’s epic followed,
the match that just wouldn’t end.
70-68 Treetops wins it.
We won’t see something like it again.

After that it seemed anticlimactic,
though we had lots of great players play.
Serena, TP’s Anna and Rafa,
Rounded out this most memorable day,

THE END

————————-

So, with apologies to however wrote this limerick first, this is the best I can come up with today—
There once was a man from Japan
Whose verses never would scan
When told “but the thing”
“should go with a swing”
He replied ” but I really want to get the most games in the last set as I possibly can”

———————————

OK, it’s raining here so I can’t get out in my garden .
So, rather than wait for tomorrow, here’s today , Day 2, in a nutshell.

for Serena, Rafa and Murray.
easy, straight set wins in a hurry.
Though Stosur’s not happy
to lose to Kanepi
they’ve now time to golf with Henman in Surrey

—————————–

I promised no more verses but yesterday inspired me.
So here, from the poet in non residence at the Planet is Day 1 in a nutshell

The tennis from France was a yawn.
But what a day one on the lawn
Djoker, Davy and Fed
We gave up for dead
But they all won in 5 and moved on

————————–

there once was a lady called Jenny,
who said “players from spain there are many’
because they’re from Spain
they can play in the rain
but it’s grass and not clay , bring your wellies.

OK, that’s my last.

————————–

there once was a fellow called Murray,
who said to the Brits “don’t you worry’
I’ll beat Querrey and Rafa
cos its Roger I’m after
and i’ll be the first British champ since Fred Perry

such verse — and it’s free— I’m not in residence

Photos.

Wimbledon contenders after round one.

Player	Aces	Ist serve pct.	Sets lost/ Unforced errors	Tie breaks/ Double faults	Bk pt conv %	Time on court.	Matches played
Federer	21	59	2 / 40	1 / 7	36	3:18	1
Murray	17	56	0 / 21	0 / 1	55	1:41	1
Nadal	8	69	0 / 16	0 / 3	38	2:05	1
Djokovic	17	58	2 / 60	0 / 12	45	3:51	1
Roddick	13	73	0 / 10	0 / 2	45	1:23	1

Which sport attracts the most beautiful ladies?