Can anybody enlighten me as to why…………….

…….the race cars have no freaking door for the ‘athlete’ to get in? If it’s the drag BS, why have even that opening? Have him slip from some back door through the trunk.

……….the referee at a boxing match cannot freaking hold the mike himself? Why is it slipped through his under arm from a clown standing right behind doing who knows what?

Photos.

Another pinky bound to take revenge.

I thought I was the only one using the cereal bowl these days. Geeeeeezzzzzzzz!!!!!!

Marching band shot?

Federer’s performance after marriage / birth of twins.

Marriage: April 11, 2009.

Twins: July 23, 2009.

If this is a ‘predicted’ pattern, Federer needs to enlist Xisca’s help to hold off Nadal, like freaking NOW.

Details	Tournaments played	Titles won	Which ones
Since April 2009 – to date.	21	5	Madrid, Roland Garros, Wimbledon, Cincy and AO.
Since July 2009 – to date.	17	2	Cincy and AO

Nadal’s ace count at four Wimbledon finals. Is that the vehicle to salvation for him?

Round	2010	2008	2007	2006
1	8	17???	4	3
2	5	4	4	7
3	12	5	5	18???
4	8	3	11	7
5	12	4	6	6
6	4	6	4	0
7	5	6	2	9
Total	54	45	36	50

Rogers Cup Toronto 2010 Roger Federer Promo. From Claire. Thanks.

CLAIRE

How many Slams will Nadal and Federer own after playing Wimbledon 2011?

Photos.

That scar is nasty.

Is it too much to ask to make that WTA sticker from a decent cloth instead of from a discarded underwear? Geeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!! And was this a boxing match?

LOS ANGELES, CA – JULY 29: Former Major League Baseball player Barry Bonds enjoys a tennis match betweenAndy Murray and Tim Smyczek during the Farmers Classic at the Los Angeles Tennis Center – UCLA on July 29, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

LOS ANGELES, CA – JULY 29: NBA basketball player Kevin Garnett watches the match between James Blake and Benjamin Becker of Germany during the Farmers Classic at the Los Angeles Tennis Center – UCLA on July 29, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

And why are the middle fingers spared?

You gave it away.

Chucky plays tennis?

Is Mirka turning into Bridgette (that’s Sampras’s wife. Geeeeeezzzzzz)?

At 28, Federer has now won just ONE title in the last about 16 tournaments he has played – starting from about the time the ‘forced’ marriage thing happened and the twins arrived. With age not a factor historically, absence of any major arrival on the tour to alter the landscape so significantly to shoulder the nose dive squarely, no huge injury / illness issue that’s lingering, Wawrinka distraction shelved for the time being……..you have to point to Mirka as the root cause of what’s happening to Federer on and off the court.

Even though that’s a fact, Mirka does have a pretty strong defense stretching as long as a decade. You cannot preach her the ‘patience’ sermon after all she went through with prospects dropping strength instead of gaining as time passed. Does that all then revert back to Federer? Could be.

But few years from now most pundits won’t delve that deep to vindicate Mirka just as few would now blame Sampras for marrying in the first place.

Translation: Tennis world will still wonder what could have been done had either Mirka not poked holes in those condoms or Federer had assured Mirka of marriage after retirement in a ‘more than guaranteed’ manner (after all he could have always reneged later despite the iron clad promise).

But until any of the above gets debated, Mirka meanwhile is gradually moving towards the center of that round object and into that red dot called the bull’s-eye as far as shouldering most if not all of the blame for Federer’s early demise. No matter how you slice it that transformation into adulthood with TWO babies and ‘two and a half’ wife – almost instantly – will sway ANYBODY off ANY track, leave alone someone who is fighting to stay on top at the highest level in his sport – with a mad bull in tow.

The sum total of that accident shifted the dynamic so drastically that the razor-sharp focus and execution needed to survive at the top wilted under its power. There can be no other logical explanation to such a steep decline specially when the beginnings of it can be traced around the time this ‘thing’ occurred.

So Mirka is now facing a double-headed monster that does not speak but is always there in the room with Federer:

1. The widely accepted perception that Federer was trapped.

2. The trap screwed up Federer’s career maybe for good – prematurely.

But Mirka, when confronted with above, presented her part of the story:

“I was coaxed into it by some people. They told me there is something in it for me. They even called me one night around 2:00 am when I was in bed with Federer. When Federer asked who it was I told him it was a wrong number. But I wasn’t told there will be a ‘hit’ to Federer’s career. I couldn’t resist that call for ‘something’s in it for me’ after taking a back seat to Federer all my life. It seemed to me as if I was stepped over like a door mat.

Now I am being blamed for the ‘hit’ when all I wanted was something for myself for a change. BTW, the people who lured me into this and made me practice the condom piercing over and over again while Federer was out with Wawrinka are…………wait for it………………..Nadal and his errand boy Tony. I even tried to not recognize them when introduced at the parties to not let Federer get the wind of it but now it’s out and I am currently being treated like some actor from some movie I cannot remember.

They have set a date for fishing on the lake overlooking our house with Robert but I am not sure about it. And Wawrinka is Tony’s man. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to deal with all this as I am being made out to be some monster when all I was doing was look out for myself”.

Confessions of a Parking Valet.

You have to be a complete knucklehead to trust that guy with your car and what’s in it. Not sure?

Click here.

Murray does not plan to engage a new coach until after the U.S. Open. Really?

That has to be a huge slap across Miles’s face.

Not only were you not performing, just having you along for the next Slam was detrimental. It’s not that I needed a new coach to win the next Slam, I just needed to get rid of you – Isn’t that the freaking message here?

The kind of beating these tennis coaches take year after year, it’s no wonder only desperate ‘have nothing to do’ clowns elect to participate. Umpires should be a close second. Why would anyone with a pulse choose either profession? Front seat? What’s that song? ‘Some want to abuse you, others want to get abused’? And who freaking marries these people? Other umpires and coaches?

Even I have a prospective mate – that ‘mentally my age’ neighbor’s daughter. At least she is not in my line of ‘work’. Yeah, that puts me ahead of these jokers. Hey, have you even lived in a basement ever? No, you haven’t and don’t know that it’s lot of work.

Byran brothers about to set another record.

Most doubles titles ever won by a team: 61 – by Hall of Famers Todd Woodbridge and Mark Woodforde. Bryan brothers have already reached 61 and a title in Los Angeles will get them to stand alone atop their chosen field.

They have already bagged the career Slam and own eight Slams overall together.

Here are some other facts:

Their mother Kathy Bryan (née Blake) is a former women’s circuit player. She is a 4-time participant at Wimbledon, and made the mixed doubles quarter-finals at the 1965 edition. She still teaches tennis.

Their father, Wayne Bryan, is a lawyer, musician and tennis instructor. Both their parents are involved in various ATP Kids’ Days and clinics on tour.

In their early days as junior players, they were forbidden to play each other in tournament play by their parents. If they were to play each other in a tournament, they would alternate defaulting to each other.

The Bryans have a penchant for music, forming a band of their own, with Mike playing on the drums (and occasionally guitar), Bob on the keyboard, and father Wayne on the guitar. Fellow tennis players and friends Andy Roddick, Mardy Fish and Jan-Michael Gambill often join in. The band has played at several special events, including the ATP Tour Smash Tennis event at New York’s Central Park before the 1995 U.S. Open.

Between 2005 and 2006, they set an Open Era record by competing in seven consecutive men’s doubles Grand Slam finals, three of which they won.

On February 26, 2010, they recorded their Open Era record 600th match win by defeating Taylor Dent and Ryan Harrison in the semi-finals of the Delray Beach ATP 250 tournament.

Records:

61 ATP World Tour Tournament Wins (tied with Woodies)
6 time ITF World Champions (5 straight from 2003–2007)
5 time ATP Team of the Year (tied with Woodies)
16 Grand Slam Finals
600 tour level match wins
7 consecutive Grand Slam Finals (2005 Australian Open-2006 Wimbledon)
99 ATP World Tour Tournament Finals
16 Davis Cup World Group Wins
15 Masters 1000 titles
27,200 – Largest crowd in tennis history (Seville,Spain 12/04/2004)

Photos.

Looks like someone’s been eating someone else’s lunch.

Multi-tasking?

Those are Tipsy’s. What does that freaking mean?

Separating Myth from Fact.

Myth: Aerobics is better for shaping up than weight  training.
Fact: To transform your physique, you MUST train with weights.

Myth: If you exercise, it doesn’t matter what you eat.
Fact: If you exercise, it matters EVEN MORE what you eat.

Myth: If women lift weights, they’ll get ‘bulky’.
Fact: Resistance exercise helps women create lean, toned bodies.

Myth: Weight training is only of young athletes.
Fact: People of all ages should be weight training.

Myth: Muscles grow while you are working out.
Fact: Muscles grow while you are resting and recuperating.

Myth: A certain number of sets and reps gets the job done.
Fact: High-intensity effort produces the best results.

Myth: You need to drink water only when you are thirsty.
Fact: You body needs more water than it’s telling you.

Myth: You have to eat perfectly all the time.
Fact: There’s no such thing as eating ‘perfectly’.

Source: Body for Life.

If Nadal reaches No. 16, which argument will be more compelling?

1. Federer underachieved? With the talent and a complete array of shots Federer owns he is REQUIRED to create enough separation between him and the rest of the field to transfer that perception from thinking to paper. Kind of separation that not only is unreachable but the kind that demoralizes the prospect from even ‘thinking’ about getting there.

If not, there have been many many many many talented and gifted players in practically every sport who couldn’t do justice to their talent for whatever reason leaving them far short of the mark needed to claim the top spot.

So what would be a realistic minimum Slam number that would match Federer’s skill set? 20? And 25 would be that ‘don’t even think about it’ number? Surpassing Sampras by just two knowing how limited Sampras was in comparison just doesn’t cut it.

Maybe it’s not all good to expose yourself too early in your career and build that hype. LeBron may be the next athlete discovering that cruel truth. Did Nadal camp deliberately orchestrate the ‘flying under the radar’ scenario from the get go to not just shield Nadal from that bright light but to also heighten the build up Federer had already managed about himself? Maybe. Maybe not. But it surely is showing now.

2. Nadal overachieved? With the stark contrast Nadal’s tool shed faces against Federer’s, the best most would have hoped for from Nadal – solely on grit and determination – would be about 10-12 Slams – with most of them at Roland Garros. But to reach Federer’s stratosphere with that talent – while shutting Federer out completely (H2H) – has to highlight the intensity with which Nadal has used his intangible abilities to more than compensate for lack of pure skill.

It brings up that age-old question of how much farther can you get on just ability testifying to my famous saying “It’s not how good you are, it’s how bad you want it”. Lendl fits right in with that group – maybe even Sampras. McEnroe – not.

Top 50 American Roadside Attractions.

Click here.

Obscure facts: Wawrinka. Really?

John McEnroe believes Wawrinka has one of the most powerful backhands he has ever seen and describes him as having “the best one-handed backhand in the game today”.

Best Slam result: 4th round.

Career high rank: 9.

Wawrinka, one of four tennis-playing siblings, turned pro in 2002 at the age of 17.

The surname Wawrinka is of Polish origin.

His father Wolfram is German, and his mother Isabelle is Swiss. Both work on a biodynamic farm helping handicapped people.

He has one older brother Jonathan, who teaches tennis, and two younger sisters Djanaée and Naëlla, who are students and tennis players.

Wawrinka currently lives in Saint-Barthélemy (10 minutes from Lausanne) with his wife, Ilham Vuilloud, a Swiss television presenter and former fashion model.

Vuilloud gave birth to the couple’s first child, a girl named Alexia.

He is good friends with British number 1 Andy Murray (both are fanatical go-karters) and Roger Federer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With coach firing / hiring in full swing, which coach(es) enjoys the most job security?

If you eliminate the ‘related’ clowns, Djokovic’s Marian Vajda should head that list, don’t you think? Unless he continues to put on weight at current rate and becomes immovable soon, he is not going anywhere it seems – irrespective of what Djokovic does on the tour. Shouldn’t it have already happened by now if it was at all possible?

Of the ‘related’ ones, the ones that makes most sense to let go has to be Bartoli’s dad. If those weird and super thought out tactics are still missing the most obvious impediment to success – the freaking weight – shouldn’t his doctor’s license be revoked BEFORE being fired as a coach?

Stefanki should have begun to squirm a little after this recent meltdown from Roddick but with the massive possibility of no even attempting to touch Roddick now for obvious reasons, Stefanki may find himself secure out of default.

Shouldn’t Delpo’s team need a total overhaul too for letting him play with an injured wrist even after the US Open title?

Wonder if any fresh blood will even dare to enter the tennis coach periphery after all these hire-fire spitfire – not to mention the total disrespect even some of the seasoned coaches are subjected to routinely – publicly.

I think they should scrap the whole system and replace it with a panel who can be consulted on a need to basis only – for a fee. You can hire the whole panel for a given tournament, a certain match or for the entire season for a percentage of your earnings. This way the disrespect component can be eliminated allowing some of the former greats to take the plunge while shielding their status and ego.

Granted former players haven’t transformed into great coaches but we are not talking about the whole gamut of qualities (which most greats lack) a regular coach embodies. In this case, you just share your expertise within the panel and the finished product (after discussion within the panel) is finally pushed out to the needy player hiring them. Should be a win win for everyone, don’t you think?

You are, of course, allowed to hire your own full-time coach just to vent your frustration and beat the crap out of him, if nothing else.

Photos.

Too many freaking reasons why you shouldn’t have been wearing the cap backfreakingwards. Old age, baldness, gap too big…………..

What is this?

Federer Struggles With His Altered World. From Anon. Thanks.

ANON

Interesting article from NYT 2009!

Click here.

ATP Tour Uncovered – Juan Manaco, known as Pico. From Jenny. Thanks.

JENNY

ATP Tour Uncovered – Juan Manaco, known as Pico.

Click here.

Whose coaching arrangement has been the best so far?

Murray playing the same game Federer is?

Game name: Desperation?

Murray has ZERO titles this season with one final and one semifinal as his best outing – in 10 attempts. And that’s not even the worst part of it. Not only has he not been able to break the Slam barrier despite being in the finals twice in his career, he has now lost to both Federer and Nadal in straight sets after posting incredible numbers leading up to the match.

Before the two ‘hammerfications’ Murray had lost just one set the entire tournament. And virtually owned Federer (H2H 6-4) AND Nadal (Winning three of the last five). But to go down that tamely on the big stage (one at home) – twice – without even winning a set has to inflame the already bruised ego that went on the roof to claim that he will own the No. 1 rank by year-end.

In retrospective, given Federer’s record in the past about 15 tournaments starting from late last season, that AO loss looks even more painful when even Gulbis was able to beat Federer – on clay, not to mention the whole garden variety of players with bragging rights.

Loss to Nadal wasn’t anything close to soothing either. Nadal had two back to back five setters in early rounds to tomato cans and was coming off a grueling clay season in contrast to your smooth ride right up to the match with nothing to drain your fuel on clay.

Looking back, both matches today look like sitters given existence of all conditions potentially able to have a bearing.

It’s hard to imagine that results of this season in general and these two losses in particular have not impacted Murray’s psyche so adversely that a change of coach or a girl friend etc. can do any good. If Murray is not where Federer is versus Nadal mentally, he may not be too far from that scenario either – with big stage replacing Nadal in that set up and local pressure fanning the fire beyond control.

All that inevitably leads to just one road called Desperation Blvd leading to knee jerk reactions on the first available scapegoat. Kim could be next followed by return of that hippy and creepy hair down to his shoulder.

Difference? One is hiring, the other is firing.

Inside coach’s mind before he takes up new assignment.

Unless you are a beginner like Todd Martin was for Djokovic, a seasoned coach looks for ONE specific factor among others in determining if a certain assignment is worth going for. Without its free flowing presence ideal conditions for the perfect execution of his plan without infringement will evaporate leaving him handcuffed and frustrated. Have a clue? No, you don’t!!!!!!

It’s quite like electing a new President for a country, a business, a club, you name it. Without that all important component, the incumbent cannot affect change in the exact direction he wants. Even though the benefit of this link is more than obvious to both parties, tennis players specifically ignore its value leaving a massive unbridgeable sink hole in the middle thereby ensuring they don’t suck in the most from the new hire.

Firing of Miles by Murray today is the perfect exhibit to prove the theory.

Here it is:

There’s a reason – a very strong reason – why the President’s cabinet members are not elected but selected. Can you imagine John McCain being elected to Obama’s inner circle? The whole government machinery would collapse even before it takes the first step.

Here’s another example: When an NBA coach takes over, the previous members of the coaching staff are usually discharged and replaced with clowns hand-picked by the new coach. NBA’s greatest coach (arguably), Phil Jackson has his own staff that gets employed wherever he works. There’s no debate on that.

Do I still have to explain any further now? Can you freaking put two and two together now?

For those just crawling from under that rock, the point is this: For Federer to instill confidence in Paul to accept the coaching gig, he has to provide ample freedom and say in what Paul is aiming to accomplish. It may not mean a complete break from his previous team but there should be no doubt left as to whose directive will supercede everyone else’s. Better still, Paul should not just be allowed but encouraged to hire his own assistants to further bolster the notion that he is in charge.

If not, either the full impact of Paul’s creative abilities will get stifled or if he is smart will not accept the job at all sensing the futility of constantly fighting the existing members to get his voice heard. With Murray’s instance as backdrop, this will weigh heavily on Paul’s mind.

Photos.

LOS ANGELES, CA – JULY 26: Former USTA President Franklin Johnson shakes hands with Jim Courier after Courier was introduced as the Farmers Classic, presented by Merceds-Benz, tournament honoree at the Los Angeles Tennis Center – UCLA on July 26, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Gross/Getty Images)

What’s up with the freaking scarf? How long before we see one in pink – with sparkles. Geeeezzzzzz!!!!

Andy Murray has ended his three-year alliance with coach Miles Maclagan after a disagreement over the role of coaching consultant Alex Corretja. From Jenny. Thanks.

JENNY

Click here.

Deep Underground, Miles of Hidden Wildfires Rage. WOW!!!!

Did you freaking know this?

Click here.

Federer’s decision to hire a coach…..

Make this a habit starting freaking today, OK tomorrow.

Gulp down a glass of warm water first freaking thing after you wake up in the morning. It will not only break the over eight hour water fast you have been on, it will also improve time spent on the throne.

What is Sampras’s feeling on Anaconda joining Federer?

The further away Federer gets from No. 14, Sampras’s sparkle will dampen proportionately. Sampras is still rationalizing No. 15 and 16 with Nadal’s absence – an argument many feel has only gained strength with Nadal’s current run.

Add that with that certain knowledge Sampras has of Anaconda’s ability to turn things around and you have to doubt whatever politically correct BS comes out of Sampras when questioned on this.

Just being passed is painful enough but to have your former coach play a massive part in adding to the trauma is like adding insult to injury, don’t you think?

The ONLY factor that may soften the impact is if Sampras can somehow be guaranteed of Federer’s eternal friendship in exchange – and complete boycott of Agassi. Federer knows exactly where Sampras is among other US tennis greats. Last exho with Agassi removed any doubts if there were any.

Bottom line: Sampras has no friend and is looking for Federer to fill that void. If Federer agrees, not only will Sampras have a companion it will be like revenge against other US players vying for Federer’s good graces – shamelessly. This dynamic is pretty close to where Federer himself is vis-a-vis Woods – despite the scandal.

So Federer should make a deal with Sampras to close another one – in a hurry.

Isner-Mahut in condom commercial. Shouldn’t it be more about that additional size it comes in now?

The 20 highest-earning International athletes. From Claire. Thanks.

CLAIRE

Click here.

Federer ‘attempts’ to hire a coach – again. Is that good or bad?

For starters, the timing of the two stabs so far point to a position of weakness Federer appears to be descending from. Last experiment with Darren Cahill was right after he lost to Nadal at the AO final in 2009. That ‘backfire’ could very well have played a significant part in Federer hesitating to pull the trigger again lot earlier this time. (like after losing at the AO this year?).

Translation: The desperation has reached breaking point allowing the pain to exceed the shame in going for it again after that snub from Cahill.

Additionally it seems Federer feels he has tried everything within his control now and this is his LAST straw. If that really is the case, ANY coach is looking at an uphill mountain from the get go with an occasional flash intermittently. That scenario leaves very little for ANYONE to work with. You can bet Annaconda will be there sniffing for that vibe during this test period. If not he may just call Cahill to learn it straight from the horse’s mouth.

For rock people, Anaconda was Sampras’s coach and unless Sampras is solidly behind this move, Anaconda on his own may just suddenly feel the need to ‘be with his family’ too. Clearly, there’s something that goes amiss after the coach spends that test period around Federer as they don’t back out at the initial invitation. If this was clearly the case first time around, shouldn’t Federer have demanded skipping the test period and taken the plunge right away?

After all, the guy has credentials but more importantly with the current southward journey you are on, you don’t have very many options. Just Cahill’s withdrawal was considered a kiss of death for Federer as far as attracting another credible body was concerned. If this fails it may just ‘bump’ up to a passionate intercourse.

Bottom line: Smart thing was to lock in without any option or mention of a test period. Unless of course if it was asked for by Anaconda himself. If it was, then this could be even more fluid than the first one – with an even stronger hit to the ego already teetering on brink of collapse.

But Anaconda may also consider the fact that after Cahill dumped Federer, Federer went on to win the FO, No. 15 and 16. However the circumstances surrounding those milestones may take away some or all of the thunder from that argument.

Either way, there’s no doubt that from Federer’s point of view this decision cannot hurt. It may not however be the same for Anaconda as he is just coming on the open market after being close to being released from Lawn Tennis Association. There may be far more lucrative offers he may be overlooking if he locks himself with Federer for a few years.

I feel Federer wanted to clear the last frontier before seeking outside help and in a way admitting to being ‘defeated’. That last frontier was grass AND the five set format. He is very close to being that ‘hat in the hand’ player now – a position not very comfortable for a person of his stature and ego.

Bottom line: This is Federer’s last shot at redemption. He cannot miss this. All the more reason that Federer shouldn’t have left it open unless Anaconda absolutely demanded it.

Federer hires a coach? From Claire. Thanks.

CLAIRE

From Federer’s website:

OFF COURT – ROGER TO DO TEST WITH PAUL ANNACONE

Dear Fans

I’ve been looking to add someone to my team and I’ve decided to spend some days with Paul Annacone. As Paul winds down his responsibilities working for the Lawn Tennis Association, we will explore our relationship through this test period. Paul will work alongside my existing team and I am excited to learn from his experiences.

Photos.