Federer – Talent. Has anyone seen his teeth? Get a shorter short if you need to adjust after every freaking point.
Nadal – Muscles. Not aware some body parts have no muscles, no matter how much you work them.
Djokovic – Porcupine. Wrong body parts growing in the wrong direction.
Roddick – Witty. Constantly reaching for the wrong balls.
Blake – Intelligence. Needs booty jutting surgery.
Davydenko – Hard work. Under nourished during childhood.
Ljubicic – Reserved. From pre-historic days. Only one left from the ice age.
Safin – Living life large. Playing tennis to get babes.
Gonzalez – Decent. Next President of Chile.
Robredo – Sever shortage of clothes and brain.
Berdych – Some pre-historic bird?
Baghdatis – Misplaced and abandoned Pirate.
Gasquet – Long neck and short steps.
Canas – Tank and Hyena.
Hewitt – Guts to be himself. Trying hard to grow up. Roche is going to ruin that too.
Moya – Clever in choosing his friends.
Murray – Crude, scrawny, in need of a dentist.
Chela – Starving student. Can die anytime.
Ferrero – Stop telling lies or get a nose surgery.
Nalbandian – Buffet happy.
Karlovic – Someone give him food, NOW.
Stepalloveryourneck – Don’t even get me started!!!!!!!!!!
Verdasco – Should be renamed ‘Forehand’.
Hrbaty – Her body?
Monfils – Needs eye surgery.
Querrey – Jack Nicholson in Batman.
Rochus – Starved of growth hormone.
Tsonga – Chickened out of boxing.
Serena – disillusioned that she is beautiful.
Henin – Not built for good clothes.
Sharapova – Please don’t ever laugh. It’s too annoying. Well, most annoying.
Venus – born with inferiority or Serena complex.
Jankovic – Alien from which planet?
Chakvetadze – Cutie darling.
Hantuchova – Needs bricks tied to her waist in windy conditions to play tennis.
Bartoli – What was her weight before she started tennis?
Hingis – Crafty and cunning on and off the court.
