Tennis Planet

Official Freaking Site Of Tennis Freaking Fans Worldwide.

About me.

Posted by tennisplanet on February 3, 2008

I live with my parents. But I have the whole floor to myself. It’s right under may parents’ floor, OK, it’s slightly underground, OK, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, it’s a basement. GEEEZZZ, can a guy have secrets and dignity?

Mom is my immediate supervisor. Dad is the Supreme court. I have realized the benefits of resolving disputes at lower court. It’s lot less painful. I am subject to an annual inspection. Last inspection resulted in revoking of my phone privileges. Didn’t hurt much, since no one really calls me. No, let me rephrase that – I don’t entertain calls. It was used for crank calls anyway.

I am required to keep my ‘room’ clean. Parents!!!!!!!!!!! I am not allowed to have company after 8:00 pm. I have managed to ‘entertain’ a herd of goats without detection. I just have to spend half of my allowance on room fresheners. These goats now are permanent residents of the ‘place where I live’, OK basement. If mom finds out, it’s not going to be pretty, forget what would happen if dad gets involved.

I also have some other human like figures at my …. basement. They have a very special and urgent reason to be here. They generally come alive when they are, well, pumped with air. OK, I HAVE INFLATABLES. THERE, I SAID IT.

Well, like everyone else I have my needs, and like everyone else I have found the best way to satisfy them. BTW, goats prefer vodka to an air pump. Go figure!!!

I have one pair of clothes that need one full day to recover from what’s around me. You see, I am not a big believer in wearing clothes. That’s one of the reasons I am known on first name basis at the local hospital. Here’s the reason.

Mom has recently made a concerted effort to hook me up with the retarded daughter of our next door neighbor. She feels we are both of the same age mentally, and that it’s her last shot of becoming a grand mother. I am going along so far under protest. I have not had a date with a human yet. So I was able to postpone the last date set by mom, feigning illness. But it seems inevitable. Watch this space for details on that.

I have also been able to evoke a response from Federer, after battering him for several months.

Don’t think you freaks are any better than me. I know all about you. Running around pretending to be so busy for nothing.

I also have a band of ‘boys’ to rescue people I like.  They are employed to take down people I don’t like. Are you feeling it?

Maybe I’ll update you with events as they unfold or maybe not. I know nosey lazy freaks like you get an inch they want a mile. Not happening here.

I am getting a flat freaking TV. Wooooohoooooo!!!!!!

My real crush, here.


23 Responses to “About me.”

  1. Katie said

    Looks like you’ve left us all speechless, TP.

  2. Eva said

    LOL, though for some reason I don’t liike using these text acronyms. But there are still unanswered questions about you, TP.
    First, I have speculated before whether you were a mature age of acceptable years, or whether a lippy teenager. Wo which is it? At least rule one out. So you can also be a woman, I suppose, this day and age.
    I would feel sorry for you if I believed all the things you wrote. This is the first time you referred to your father. Makes it more suspicious that you are a snotty teen.
    The goats are good; inflatables, it depends on whether they are of latex, and whether you have an allergy to them.
    Otherwise, I think you are looking to provide some excitement on this website. Don’t believe half the things you claim to be true.
    So kindly update us. As to your neighbour girl, and Mama, be very very careful. If you get that girls with child….you know what your parents will force you to do. And then what would happen to this website?
    Good luck, and let us know what you read, what other interests you might have. Shall we send missionaries to your basement?

  3. Gracie said

    Move along. Nothing new here.
    Eva, don’t buy into that mom/dad/unclean teen BS. Only an HG Wells contraption will put this guy back in touch with his teen years. He MAY have spent those years in a basement, and he MAY even still keep a few goats down there now, but I have a feeling our TP has graduated to a ground floor with a flat screen TV…

  4. Jenny said

    LOL Eva!!

  5. Claire said

    How about each of us telling something about ourselves?
    After all this is titled “about me” Does it have to only be about TP? Who knows, maybe the woman of TP’s dream is one of you?

  6. Brooke said

    Go for it, Claire.

  7. eva said

    Get thee behind me, and don’t make anythign of that. It’s what the Devil was told in the desert after the 40 days Jesus spent there.
    TP is seeking fame, or notoriety, and i don’t think he cares which one he gets. As long as it is attention.
    Don’t worry: I really don[‘t believe most of the things–especially about himself–but also some of the other posts that he has. They are incendiary devices.
    Suppose he also gets a certain sense of power, by decidint waht to post, or not.

  8. Claire said


    Thought I’d check this site to see if you posted more “about me” stuff.I’ve been too busy reading “about you” section 🙂

  9. Dee said

    Cruz Beckham stealing a bit of Spice girls lime light with his break dance moves and other two looked like they rather be some where else.

  10. Adrian said

    TP, can I just say HOW MUUUUUCH I LOVE THIS COMMUNITY???!?! and I loveeeed your mailbox option! ajjaa you are A BEAST (and amongst my friends, that’s a good thing!) ajja

  11. Dee said

    Tp, How do you like this? Do you wanna post?
    Tp and Djokovic
    1.Both are #3 in what they do.
    2.Racing towards #1 spot.
    3.Very clever in what they do.
    4.Both love tennis.
    5.Thrive on improvement.
    6.Depend on fan base.
    7.Shelterd by their mums.
    8.Sook when they are sick.
    9.Drop everything when they are sick.(such as flu or sore throat)
    10.Both know Federer is the best but try not to show it.
    11.Frustrate people with their comments at times.
    12.Have good sense of humor.
    13.Blunt and say what they have to say.
    14.Both have a soft spot for Russian girls.
    Do you have more?

  12. zihwye said

    I never realised so many similarities, Dee. good one.

  13. Adrian said

    TP, Sorry to post this here but I don’t know if you have your own mailbox!

    Anyway, just wanted to ask if you could post on the main page that question I added to the “wanna post?” section on chair umpires. I saw you posted it on the wanna post section but I guess there it’ll be harder to see for most people…

    thanks a lot!

  14. Sarah said


    Good points. I’m sure both would agree!

  15. Claire said

    HI TP

    Any way you can give my e-mail to Dee??

  16. Claire said

    I mean my e-mail “address”

  17. Claire said

    Thanks TP for taking care of my request :). You have proven again you really are a nice guy and you like us freaks!

  18. Bettyjane said

    Every so often I meander in here and wonder why you haven’t added your theme song. The song whose lyrics were written with you and ONLY you in mind. The tune I can never hear without thinking of these ridiculous inflatables of yours!!!!! Bram Tchaikovsky’s classic pop tune, “Girl of my dreams”. This really is a no brainer TP. I’ll just assume you have it on your “to-do” list.

  19. Chieko said

    TP sama I found out from Dee san only todat as to know how to come here. You TP sama is one of the most original and funny people. We all love you even though you are very naughty but funny!! Thank you for making my life so happy now. Chieko

  20. Joy said

    Julianne Moore, eh? Totally did not expect that, so I’m very impressed, as she’s one of my favorites & underrated as an actress, IMO.

  21. claire said

    On the post “Mike Sanchez: “It’s amazing that Nadal….”
    “Did you originally post in Spanish and then re-posted with my translation? OR am I going crazy and it was originally posted in English???

    Also, everyone may think I’m crazier than I already am, i.e, my posts about how to go about getting a page translated in English!!!

    Thaks TP – please respond in my Mail Box

  22. claire said


    THANK YOU for removing that post that linked to my e-mail. I thought it would work to just paste my dog pictures!
    You haven’t gone into my e-mail, have you??? 🙂 I erased all the “juicy” stuff hopefully before you got there! 🙂 🙂

    But seriously, I know you wouldn’t go to my e-mail – you’ve proven you are a nice guy or girl!

  23. xeres said

    Hola TP ! I was watching the movie Single Man and I kept smiling throughout..I mean you must be so jealous of Colin Firth in that part no ?
    Julianne Moore is throwing herself at him and he just says Oh Charly you’re a friend . It must be killing you eh ?
    So if you have to choose Julianne Moore/Goats/Inflatables ?
    Take care TP 🙂

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