Tennis Planet

Official Freaking Site Of Tennis Freaking Fans Worldwide.

For heaven’s sake, keep yourself freaking clean.

Posted by tennisplanet on October 18, 2008

No one will tell you this except a lunatic, so here it is:

After you are done using the bathroom for No. 2, there’s no way you are getting completely clean with just that ceremonial wipe. Don’t believe it? Check your underpants for proof and more. Try wearing white ones to shine light on the subject.

Still need proof? After you are done wiping, flush and then take some tissue dab it in the fresh water from the bowl and wipe it again. There you have it. That and still more is what you carry around every freaking day. No wonder you are always reaching to scratch.

There’s only one solution:

The main purpose of bidet is to wash your private parts gently, effectively and thoroughly after using the toilet e.g.: If it is routine to wash one`s hands after using the toilet, is it even not more logical to wash one`s bottom???   Babies   always  have   their   bottoms   washed   clean,   powdered   and   pampered.    The chief purpose of the bidet is to maintain for  the user a constant state of cleanliness after each use of the toilet. The bidet should be considered a hygienic necessity rather than a luxury or status symbol. Daily use of the bidet should become as conventional as brushing one`s teeth.

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8 Responses to “For heaven’s sake, keep yourself freaking clean.”

  1. TheHumbleOne said

    “…No wonder you are always reaching to scratch…”
    …are you talking to any tennis professional in particular…? 🙂

  2. Schop said

    Yeah, we’ve got such a toilet at home (swiss made)! 😉
    Even TMF mentions them (the japanese ones) in one of his blogs:
    http://www.atptennis.com/en/blog/2006/federer.asp
    (start reading at: Tuesday, October 3, 2006).
    That’s for sure the reason he doesen’t have to pick his butt like other(s) and he can concentrate 100% on tennis! -lol- Hopefully Rafa reads my words so he can take advantage of this great invention! 😉 -lol-

  3. SB said

    you are totally bizarre. why do you throw in these random posts? Self-edit, please. And the ‘freaking’ this and ‘freaking’ that really isn’t cute. I know your website is called ‘tennis freaks’ (hardly creative) but the way you write makes you sound juvenile. I feel like if I were to run into you I’d be greeted with a pimply and plump little boy trying to impress.

  4. bento said

    IT’S EASIER SAID THAN DONE, OK?

  5. m said

    There are … no words.
    Well – yes there are.

    I just … don’t have the energy for it.

  6. Gracie said

    LOL – another classic from you, TP!
    Your last line leaves me with the image of someone on their knees, trying to brush their teeth over the bidet!

  7. Jenny said

    Actually I heard of someone who washed their feet in a bidet because they didn’t know it’s intended use.

  8. Deep South Girl said

    SB–shame, shame, shame. TP has created a wonderful site!

    BTW, speaking of bidets….in my back-packing days I was staying at a very (natch!) cheap hotel and ‘tho I knew what the bidet was meant for I had to resort to using it to wash my hair, The only other option would have been the toilet.

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