Tennis Planet

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Excerpts of the tell-all book from Nadal have leaked out.

Posted by tennisplanet on July 17, 2010


-I was on ‘impossible to detect’ performance and body enhancing drugs the whole freaking time. These turkey necks back then must have been really dumb to not even question it despite more than obvious signs.

-My first choice (yeah, Xisca was a distant second) was – Diana Federer. Our love child is running some tennis academy in South Africa. Since Diana was not allowed to marry me for obvious reasons she has decided to never marry anyone. My sudden decision to play Basel later in my career was motivated by stuff more than just tennis. Since I was paying her the unofficial alimony I thought it would be only proper to ‘hit’ it once in a while. BTW, I did see Federer and Wawrinka ‘together’ many many times.

-Uncle Tony turned out to be another Don King. He floundered all my earnings on shorts and weird caps. And all the talk about on-court coaching was right on. We had developed very sophisticated subtle ways to understand each other without saying a word. It was all in the positioning of Tony’s fingers on his face. For instance, when I was overpowering Federer, Tony’s middle finger would lace his cheek as form of encouragement.

-And I did not particularly entertain quite noble thoughts when I used to jump like a boxer behind my opponent in the tunnel before coming out. Many times I spat on his back the moment the camera wandered.

-I did search out that girl who screamed ‘Will you marry me’ during one of my matches – and completed ‘some’ of the marriage duties.

-And that ‘time taken between points’ BS was part of the whole act. It was designed to not only ridicule the opponent but all the turkey necks at ATP for not relenting on my demand to alter the schedule. Did anybody notice that the umpire who questioned me on that the most is not with us anymore? Coincidence.

-Lopez is actually a girl. We knew it all along.

-The motivation to beat Federer was not driven out of breaking records. I just hated him so much and still do. His arrogance, the mask he would wear for the fans and public, the way he spoke, the way he dressed – everything. I could see through it like looking in a mirror. He was lucky we didn’t pair up in a boxing ring as that nose would have then grown in the other direction.


2 Responses to “Excerpts of the tell-all book from Nadal have leaked out.”

  1. Annie said

    Hey, Rafa did giggle on court at the marriage request… totally in there.

  2. DK said

    – I have never found out whether Steffi told me the truth the night I won my first Wimbledon. Pete has never clarified the matter, one way or the other. When I confronted him, for what seemed like a hundredth time, saying I needed to know who my real parents were, he gave me five dollars and said: “Don’t tell the bald guy”… What on earth was that supposed to mean?

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