Tennis Planet

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Letter to Brooklyn Decker.

Posted by tennisplanet on September 29, 2010

Dear Double Decker,

When you marry there’s this undeniable rush – fairly or unfairly – to determine if the union has been a match based on how things begin to unfold after the ceremony for either party – professionally, socially, monetarily, healthwise etc. etc. Unless you get Roddick to now dispel the near inevitable One-Slam wonder myth, you will NOT be considered an addition Roddick unnecessarily delayed hooking up to.

And what would be the best source to get pointers from for achieving above? Heard of someone called Bridgette? Both of have you have about the same background and about the same tennis player as husband less some 13 Slams. Bridgette was unanimously declared as the reason for Sampras’s flourishing career coming to a grinding halt for two freaking years. She knew how hard it would be for her to live with it for the rest of her life specially when the man she destroyed will be under the same roof – most of the time.

So she devised a plan, gained her man’s COMPLETE confidence nurtured with selfless love and affection and tactfully demanded that he climb the mountain peak one more time – this time with a slight twist – FOR HER SAKE. See the not so subtle difference? No, you don’t!!!!!

You see, we men are literally and figuratively nothing without the driving urge to impress women – from the dawn of civilization to now. But the ‘message’ HAS to come from the ‘right’ source. They don’t call ‘Woman can make or break a man’ for nothing. Are you the ‘right’ source? Prove it if you are. Or move freaking over for the right one to deal with it.

What’s in it for you? How about a man iron cladly guaranteed to be with you for the rest of your life – unless you decide to move on – on your own? Will that work for you? If you can get Roddick to unlock that placard around his neck it will most certainly be your most important achievement in your life. Considering it will come from you getting someone else to get something – it will be priceless. Not sure? Just ask Bridgette. She has Sampras around her finger and more 24-7. I think even Mirka failed to pull him away at one of the recent exhos. Need more proof? Watch Sampras’s ‘Hall of Fame’ speech for live verification.

Bottom line: Sit freaking down with Bridgette – in private. Get the formula, put your soul into it – body is fine too – and watch the miracle happen. You will never regret the effort – even if it falls short. The gains are infinite and immutable. Go for it NOW or LEAVE.

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5 Responses to “Letter to Brooklyn Decker.”

  1. M said

    One of the things I remember best from Wimbledon 09 (apart from Roger winning, and Rafa not being able to defend, of course) was A-Rod’s press conference that he gave after defeating the UK hopeful, AndyMur, in the semis.

    He talked quite candidly about he and Larry and Brooklyn making decisions about his career as a team … and in that Slam, those decisions led to a place in the Wimbledon finals against Roger, and the most exciting Wimbledon Mens’ Singles Final since — well, the year before @ Wimbledon 08. 😀

    I think, before raging against Brooklyn, those of us who might’ve forgotten might do well to remember not only that A-Rod is *still* recovering from a bout with glandular fever — but also how long it took even our mighty Roger to recover from that same illness, and what effect that had in the faith of some fans in his game.

    (Not all, certainly, but some. 🙂 )

  2. chieko said

    Sampras san was very emotional !! I think he missed tennis. 😦

  3. O said

    Always a fan of Pete, he seems to have a great life. Still cries a little bit, like before always, so nothing has changed. Why cry over going into HOF, Pete, remember you are better than those guys. You probably should open a tennis academy or something, that way, you won’t have to miss tennis so much.

    • M said

      I really don’t understand why he hasn’t done that yet. 😕
      I mean, we have Andre’s academy, and Nick’s, but … clearly American tennis could certainly use another one.

      Spain has more than one, and look at their depth.

  4. Sir Vibhudi Aatmapudi said

    Effin hilarious stuff, TP!!!! And most of it is true!

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