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Gambino crime family contacts Federer.

Posted by tennisplanet on July 24, 2007

Federer has been in touch with the Gambino crime family, for now over four months, the telephone records indicate.

If you are new to gambling, let me educate all you innocent people. For instance, if you are betting at a horse race, the guy who bets on the ‘least likely to win’ horse, makes the most money if it actually happens.

Do you get it? Or do you want me to come down there and ‘explain’ it?

You will still make money if you bet on the ‘most likely to win’ horse and he wins, but that jackpot is not even close to the first scenario.

Do you even want me to go any further? Can you at least freaking put two and two together here? Connect the freaking dots!!!!!!!!!

ATP has launched its own investigation into the three questionable losses Federer has had this year- to Canas and Volandri.

Meanwhile, Federer has entered the witness protection programe, and is likely to miss the whole of hard court season including the US Open.

After Nadal heard of the news, he was so excited and nervous, that Aunt Tony has taken off all his clothes. Apparently when he gets nervous, he gets so brutal with his wedgie action, that it could lead to injury at those places.

In view of above, Aunt Tony has filed a motion with the ATP to allow Nadal to play in the nude. Doctor’s medical report and recommendation was presented as evidence.

When the doctor was called in and put through ‘questioning’, he also admitted that Aunt Tony has been taking steriods for the past 12 months, which has given him access to innovative and unique coaching techniques. That is clearly an unfair advantage.

When confronted, Nadal denies any knowledge of what his Aunt was doing. Although he did notice Aunt’s sudden interest in oversized dolls recently – mostly inflatable.

Why don’t all this make it to the front pages of the press media? Oh, are they in it, too?

I have already decided on bowling as my next sport, if tennis goes down in flames because of all these scandals.

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