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If you are over 26 years of age and still holding a tennis racket, listen up.

Posted by tennisplanet on May 8, 2007

Here’s what you need to do. Get a white flag and start waving. We are almost at the middle of the season and it’s time for you to start the fun ride on that slide.

If you are past 26 years of age, please line up behind the slide play area in the park. Calling Ljubicic, Blake, Haas, Davydenko, Gonzalez and Nalbandian.

Safin and Hewitt – good job. I see you have already started. Just keep the flag up on your way down and make sure you land on your feet. Not all tennis players in that position have landed correctly.

For Safin and Hewitt only, please start messing up your relationship and your finances after you disembark. You want to keep the tradition alive, don’t you? Actually, you have no choice. The tracks on the road are so deep that it is difficult to waiver. So there you have it. It’s all made easy for you. Just follow the signs and footprints and you will be fine!!!

Don’t blame me. You are the one who wanted to play tennis. You signed up for the complete package.

For the rest of you, I see you are fighting to be the last one in the line. You have made enough money, why make it look ugly now. Just co-operate with the inevitable – isn’t that what they say? OK, I’ll give you a break. Those with the highest ranking so far, goes at the back of the line. Happy now. You are acting like twenty something year olds.

Be resigned to living a life of a recluse or being in some broadcasting booth criticizing other players. What fun. Start planning to start a business so you can drain all the money you have earned. And then make sure you polish the few trophies you have won, every year, because when you are bankrupt, you can put them on the market, to pay rent for the studio apartment in south los angeles.

Are you getting the picture? I am being as sensitive as I can by unraveling the secrets of your life slowly. If you are fortunate enough to have established any record, the only time you will receive any recognition will be when someone breaks it. So hope for someone better than you on the court for that 5 second glory.

I think that’s enough material for now. Contact me when you reach 40. There is even more fun stuff to come. I don’t want to give it away and spoil your fun, just yet.

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