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Tough questions for tennis superstars.

Posted by tennisplanet on October 8, 2007



-When are you going to marry Mirka, if at all?

-Not having a coach is not hurting you. But will having one (good one) hurt?

-What is your target for the number of Grand Slams you want to end up with?

-Does Mirka’s obesity not bother you, or you now look at it as an employer-employee deal?

-Why don’t your parents sit together in the players’ box?

-Why don’t you like Djokovic? Is it because you see him the one who will bring down your kingdom?

-When are you coming out of the closet about Wawrinka and Allegro?

-Was this your last season of multiple Grand Slams?

-What are plans for life after tennis?

-When are you getting plastic surgery for your nose?

-Wouldn’t you agree beating Nadal for you is more mental than anything else? That’s got to hurt.

-Why is your sister never at the players’ box? Is she jealous?


-When the @#$% are you going to realize, what a mockery you are making of yourself with your finger on the court?

-What explanation do you give to your family when they ask you to cut it out?

-Was this the last season, with you playing past the clay court events in a year?

-Is Uncle / Aunt Tony your real father?

-Why don’t you have any siblings? Your parents didn’t like what they saw?

-Why the @#$% are you still staying home with your parents and relatives at age 21?

-Why is your girl friend so ordinary looking with all the money you have?

-Why don’t  you get a professional coach, instead of having your aunt babysit you?

-Why don’t you exercise, to reduce your ballooning ass?

-How much money did you make on fixing the last two Wimbledon finals?


-How much more is your chin going to grow?

-What hydraulic tool do you use to remove the foot from your mouth?

-These impersonations are not funny anymore. Has anyone told you to stuff it already?

-Why do you think the only way to get attention is to remove all clothes? Or are you still transitioning from the last job?

-Is Robert De Niro your real father?

-Why are you bent on kissing Federer’s ass, when he has made it amply clear, he doesn’t like you? 

-Is Sharapova pregnant?


-Why are you bent on pleasuring yourself on the court? Are you an exhibitionist? Or is that inner lining too soft?

-Why do you have that fat, poor tennis player, brother of yours as your freaking coach? Even Yuri can do a better job than him.

-Why are you in such a hurry between points? Is the medication too strong?

-How can you sleep at night knowing that you have lost 14 straight to Federer, when Nadal and even Djokovic has had success? You are not Davydenko or Nalbandian, so don’t even try that ‘everyone else’ crap.

-How many more people, have to point to your pathetic backhand, before you will make some drastic improvement? Or are you too busy being a playboy?


-How much money do you need to leave tennis TODAY?

-When are you going to drain all that money and fame, that has pumped your head so big?

-You look like a disgrace to the sport, with what you have demonstrated so far, even before your career takes off. Take up cycling, instead and do us a favor.

-By barking at your coach, publicly, are you trying to get back at your father, who apparently never hugged you?

-Are you doing your mom a favor by playing tennis?


-You are like that volcano, that makes weird noises, but never erupts. Either blow up or just shut up, please.

-When will your neck stop growing?

-How many more five-setters do you need, to get the message, that you are not fit enough to win big titles at this level. Switch to the minor league NOW.


-Is anyone really benefiting from your existence?

-Have you heard of a career counsellor? Or fish out of water?

-Have you considered playing with bigger balls, ever?

-How many more times do you have to lose in the tie-break, to dwarfs like Rochus, to get the message? Just give us the freaking number, so we can sleep in peace.

Janet Reno was inquiring if you were interested in a girl friend?

Need more? Click here.

Federer answers back, here.

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