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Want to get your kids or yourself molested? Try this.

Posted by tennisplanet on July 17, 2007

Take them or yourself to the place where it is least likely to happen: Church.

Oh, please don’t get discouraged by the $660 million settlement to the victims. For your pleasure and information, we have not fired any of the accused molester priests. We have just moved them to other churches, not even close to where they perpertrated such glorious deeds.

So, you see, we are still there for you. This settlement is just our way of thanking you for all the pleasure. See, with this ruling, you will even get paid now. Did the word prostitutes come to your mind? We don’t see it that way, but you may on to something.

And that settlement? We wanted to pay off $666 million, but law is so strict around here.

Don’t lose hope. We will never let you down. Don’t you see this restructuring and the payout is all to your benefit? We know you all want variety and money. So, there you have it.

Posted in Want to get your kids molested? Try this. | 4 Comments »